End Goal: Keeping Lily
by Masked By Obsidian
Summary: Severus frowned. It was fifth year, he'd just taken his OWL, been tormented by the Marauders, and called Lily a Mudblood. He knew that what he did in the next few hours decided his future... and he knew what he wanted in his future: Lily. He had to figure out how to keep her.
1. Chapter 1

"I don't need your help, Mudblood!"

The words kept running through Severus' head. After Lily had stomped off, after the damned Marauders had let him go, he had scrambled for his wand and hidden himself away in an empty classroom, pacing. He had been Lily's friend since they were seven, and he knew the signs: Lily would not forgive him unless he did something... drastic. Changed.

This was impossible - if he started defending mud bloods, the Slytherins would give him Dreamless Sleep potion, slit his wrists and leave him in a public corridor. It had happened before.

Lily didn't believe him. So, there were two problems: a) He needed to show Lily that he had no choice, and b) he needed to show her that he was 'good'. Which meant... Why not say he was spying? He could convince her that he had to get them to trust him, that he was trying to protect her... He couldn't convince her with words, he knew that. So... showing her his memories?

His full memories? All the deepest moments of his private self?

... Yes. Lily was worth it... so long as he got to see her memories, too. Now _that_ would be worth it. They'd know the most intimate thoughts of each other - and because of that, because no one else shared what they did, it would mean that Severus was the closest one to her.

Severus Snape blinked. Had he just decided to _give up all of his weaknesses for a_ _chance_ _that a girl might stay his friend?_

Yes. He had. (Clearly he was insane, to give up his history, all his private moments of weakness, to someone). Well, if it was like that... perhaps it was time to really think about his future. Severus closed his eyes, relaxing and settling his emotions.

He had precisely two loyalties: The Dark Lord, and... Lily. When the Dark Lord was mentioned, when Dark Magic was mentioned, he felt wildly powerful, full of... euphoria. It was addictive.

He had done his first bit of Dark Magic at eight, accidentally, snapping his father's arm bone when the man raised a belt against his mother.

The power was... exhilarating. As if nothing could hurt him. It reminded him of Muggle Drugs that his father sometimes took... that he had tried, once, but forced himself to stop.

... wait a minute.

It reminded him of DRUGS? He was describing it as addictive - oh, _shit,_ and Severus suddenly stumbled to his knees, gasping for air. What was he _doing?_ He had _sworn_ that he would never be like his father, and here he was, taking magical drugs, and - and _hurting people,_ god, he was _sick_.

Right. The Dark Lord was clearly not an option, so Lily was... everything. Why didn't he see it before? He felt... happy with Lily. Unburdened. He _laughed_ , for Merlin's sake, he _laughed_ when he was with Lily.

(He thought he might love her).

(That thought was shoved away, burned, de-boned, castrated, gutted, carved up, mutilated and killed. Severus was fifteen - he wasn't going to embarrass himself with thoughts of _love_.)

Anyway. What was he going to tell Lily...? Ah. He had an idea...

But first. First, he had to make himself look the part. He needed to look beautiful, and pitiful, begging for her help, but not an insect. (Manipulation was easily learned when watching a Slytherin third year put on Hufflepuff robes and charm her way into... ah... something he _really_ didn't need to know the details of.)

At any rate - Severus took a full shower, complete with shampoo... a lot of it. And no conditioner - the slightest _drop_ made his hair greasy, if easy to detangle. Then, he began to do what most of the population had done in their third year. Carefully, he placed charms on his teeth, so that they'd be pearly within two hours, and perfectly straight besides. It'd be painful, but permanent. (Mostly - he'd have to either brush his teeth or reapply the cleaning charm). Then... he hesitated, but carefully positioned his hair so it looked like a hastily done loose ponytail. Something that would give the impression he didn't care and did the first thing that came to mind... but also kept the hair away from his face. It made his nose seem slightly smaller, and his skin look less pale.

There. Now... wide, frightened eyes, panting slightly - that would come easily, as he would run to the Gryffindor common room - sleeves rolled up, he looked more childish, more innocent.

Yes.

Perfect.

Now... he had wanted to show Lily all his memories, yes? No need for her to see him getting ready, and he had been practicing Occlumency for a while now, so he quickly took the memory and changed it into furious pacing, muttering about plans, keeping people safe, damn Dark Lords, and _let Lily be safe, please, Merlin._

Severus knew _exactly_ what to do. With a quick review of his plan, he ran as quickly as possible to the Gryffindor common room, skidding to a halt in front of the Fat Lady and begging, pleading - _cry, quickly, yes, that's it! -_ for Lily to be let out.

"No, of course not, you're not from Gryffindor - are you crying, young man?"

"N-no, please, is she safe, I need to talk to her, _please, -"_ Someone was coming. Severus sank to his knees, pleading to know if Lily was safe, please, lady, had the Slytherins taken the hint and left her alone? Is she all right? Can I speak to her, please, she has to know to stay away, I can't protect the muggleborns much longer, please,

"Sev?" Lily stood at the edge of the Hallway, blinking at her friend. She had been coming to her common room when she heard his voice, and she went to give the boy a piece of her mind - saying 'mud blood', honestly! - when she froze at the sight of him kneeling.

And crying.

As far as her memory went, _Severus Snape never showed weakness._ As she listened, blinking as he begged the Fat Lady to verify that she was safe (?), inside, hale and hearty... and then... 'she has to know to stay away', what did that mean?, and _I can't protect the Muggleborns much longer?_ Honestly? He was the one hunting them! "protect them", as if who did the _bastard_ think he _was -_  
Except he was crying.

When she spoke his name, she didn't know what she was expecting, but the way his face lit up with relief as he stumbled to his feet, relief and fear and pain warring on his face as he neared her, checking her for injuries, it told her... a lot.

(Lily closed away the thought before it could materialize. Sev was her friend. Loving her was not in the cards).

He hugged her, sobbing into her hair as he told her he _couldn't do it._

"Sev - what happened, sh..." and here she was, angry not a minute before.

Opening the nearest empty room, she pushed her friend into it before closing the door. They sat on the front desk together, as Sev began, sobbing, to unload... and Lily found she couldn't be angry with him. Ever.

"It... began in first year, in Slytherin, Merlin, anyone consorting with a muggleborn would have to... to hurt them by third year, I had to tell them I was using you for grades or they, they said they would... they-"

He was inconsolable for a while. (Everything he said was true, verifiable in his memories. But viewing someone's memories did give you the associated emotion, so he could pretend to have been terrified immediately, terrified during the entire time he had ever hurt anyone).

"God, Lily, the _hunts..._ Dark magic is like a drug, Lily, I've had it in me since I was eight, broke an arm, I can't get it out, I'm _sick,_ wrong, and - god, the _hunts._ They had me invent spells to hurt Muggleborns... I tried, I tried to protect them... Sectumsempra, it cuts everywhere in the torso... but shallowly, Lily, so much blood and pain, but no scars, and very little chance of death, I made it look bad, but Lily, I tried to stop it..."

Severus pushed away the thought that it was partially true, trying to convince himself that he was just manipulating Lily. To do that, he gave himself a goal: Hhm... How to make Potter more despicable to Lily?

"They wanted to kill Potter for hurting the Slytherin firsties, Lily, his gang hurts _eleven-year-olds_ , and the children go to people like Malfoy to protection, and Potter's gang don't even realize what they do! I... I made myself a target, Lily, I couldn't let them hurt those kids, so I said things like Mudblood... they couldn't hurt the kids when they were hurting me..."

When she was viewing memories she couldn't view his thoughts. He had _not_ been thinking that when he called some chit 'mud blood' in front of Potter's gang. But... to keep Lily, he would start. God, for Lily, he'd be the martyr he was pretending to be.

"I thought, maybe, if I was enthusiastic, they would trust me and I could be a spy, passing information, but there's no information, no nothing, just hurt that person and that person and that person and I _hate them!_ "

"I had to call you Mudblood because they would hurt you... d'you know, there was... I had a friend there, there was a boy, third year when we were first..." This next part was all true.

"His name was Jared, Jared Fendockit, and he had a friend - Hufflepuff, muggleborn, he defending the boy in the common room - Gods, Lily, they dosed him with Dreamless Sleep, slit his wrists and _left him in a corridor as an example!"_

And then Severus was sobbing. That wasn't part of the plan. The plan was to 'calm down' now, to get Lily to be his friend... But he was sobbing, memories of Jared giving him winks and helping him chop flobberworms and yelling about Transfiguration and what if his puff friend didn't like the gift he gave him? And what if the others found that he was giving gifts to a _male muggleborn puff_?

Severus dimly noted he had never actually mourned Jared.

Jared had dark brown hair and grey eyes. His smile was either wide and quick and false, or small and gentle - small upturn of the lips - that was herd to earn and meant everything. Jared wasn't lanky, but he was thin. Jared was the second person who had treated him like a person.

The first... with red hair and green eyes... was sitting next to him, holding him and whispering that he wasn't alone.

Severus held on to that thought. He wasn't alone.

It took quiet a while until he stopped crying, and when he was done, he felt... oddly light. Better. Of course, being with Lily fixed everything. That was why he chose her.

"Alright, Sev, I forgive you. But... there's a war brewing. Are you going to be a spy during the war? Or are you going to fight openly?"

"Lily, I..." Severus swallowed. He couldn't stop hanging out with the Slytherins; they'd kill him, but he needed an excuse to do so, and Lily gave him one.

"I think I need to be a spy. Because there's no one else. Dumbledore needs to be able to get information _somehow_ , and I can do it. Besides, maybe I can slip one or two of them Insanity Elixirs and see how much they mess up the Dark Lord's army... I can fight from the inside."

"Of course... but Sev, I don't feel comfortable sending you back there. How about this: You can tell them you spent the entire night studying for OWLs... and tell the Slytherins you're using me to get Os on your tests. Alright? Here..." Lily transfigured a desk into a sleeping bag, before repeating the action with another desk.

"We can sleepover, like we used to." Lily's voice was gentle, calming, keeping him stable.

"Y-yeah. That'd be nice..." Severus frowned. He needed to tie himself and Lily together, now... this was _the_ opportunity. So...

"Lily!" he gasped, as though the idea had _just_ come to him, "Look -" With gleam in his black eyes, Severus pulled some parchment and a quill out of his pockets (there was some chalk and a few small candles, always to be carried around, because the very hint the he _dared_ to do rituals was... shocking and gave him respect and wariness).

Then, Severus began to write:

 _We, the signers of this parchment, ask Magic of the following boon: In a promise of Loyalty to each other, always and until the end of time, we wish to show each other our memories and_

"No. I agree with the concept, but... Sev. Let me, I've studied these things more... and are you _sure_? There's no going back after this."

"I'm certain. And... let's do it so it'll share our new memories as well, and... all our capabilities, the information we know... so... we'll both have a better chance at survival, and, also..." Sev hesitated. He _needed_ her to agree to this, and he honestly thought they would both benefit. Lily's potions and DADA and Occlumency would get better, while his Astrology and Ancient Runes and Charms would probably be far easier now. Honestly, with Lily's capabilities in Astrology and Ancient Runes, she was shaping up to be a new Ritual Mistress. With his Occlumency helping her concentration... well... his Lily would be a force to be reckoned with. (Yes, his Lily. The thought is, once again, shut away. [It's allowed to live, though.])

So he needed her to agree.

"As a Spy... what if I find someone out and then I'm found out and I can't pass the information along? I'll need to get the new memories... so you know the information."

Lily gasped, pulling away slightly.

"No, _Sev,_ you aren't going to get caught, don't say that -"

"Lily, please, I can't think that there's something I can do to help you and not do it... Please, Lily, it'll help us keep an eye on each other, and we - we can use this to share all our understanding of a subject and maybe even our power, we'll be safer and know more, _please,_ I just need to know I'm doing _something._ "Of course Lily capitulated, grabbing the parchment and beginning to write, ordering him around as she did so.

"This ritual will require space - vanish all the desks and everything in the room, I'll need a LOT of chalk, we'll have to do two pentagrams and a circle, with two overlapping cones facing opposite directions, and, hhm... future memories, that's five - no, six candles, preferably... him, let's see, it's already dark, and we see the north star from this window, so we'll need the candles to be black and smell of... ah, Lavender, that'll work best... with one candle that should be... white? Yeah, White, with no extra scents or anything. Made of wax."

Calling a house-elf for the candles and more chalk, Severus began to transfigure everything in front of him into dust before banishing the dust out of the window. It took a while, and after he was done, he re-read what Lily had written on the parchment while she began to draw runes on the walls.

 _We, Lily Evans and Severus Snape, do call upon Magic to bind us together upon the following thoughts:_

 _As we dream, show us the lives of each other, and let us know of the other's lives in our dreams for all eternity. If one of us learns an art, uncovers a secret, or acquires information, let this flow to the other mind as well. May our magics and strengths flow and combine, for we swear eternal loyalty and friendship to each other._

 _As our blood mixes_

As OUR BLOOD MIXES? Lily was alright with doing Blood Magic? It wasn't dark, per se, it wasn't addictive either, but most people didn't like it because it generally left some sort of scar where you cut yourself to get the blood, as a sort of 'proof' to magic that you did it. The magic wasn't reversible, the scar never healed. So most didn't like it. And rituals in general were dangerous...

This was Lily through and through - unafraid and fierce and trusting him to keep her secret about Blood Magic. She trusted him to keep her secret... Severus straightened unconsciously. He had made his choice- he would _not_ betray Lily. Not again (he had called her Mudblood, that was the first betrayal), and not ever.

Severus kept reading.

 _As our blood mixes, may Magic take our pledge and grant our desires._

Severus looked at what Lily was doing.

There was a large circle on the floor, perfect and drawn in white chalk. Two cones - cones, not triangles, they were drawn three dimensionally - started from opposite sides of the circle and their points met in the exact middle. The window shone on the middle of the circle, the beam of moonlight right in between the two cones. There was a bowl - copper, filled with water - in the center, with the white candle floating in the middle. (Floating? How was that possible? Oh, right - Magic.)

A small, iron knife lay on one side of the bowl, with a dark candle on the other side. The other candles were perfectly evenly spaced out on the circle's permitter.

This was _not_ taught in Hogwarts. Where did Lily _get_ the books on this? Actually, he knew that - she had gotten them in Flourish and Bolts in the summer after their Third Year, and had read them ravenously.

On the walls, in chalk, were drawn so many complex runes that Severus lost count. They were in intermingling colors, with dark green and pale gold and bright blue and black and white and magenta and minty green all swirling around each other. Two overlapping pentagrams were drawn around the window.

It was beautiful.

If anyone walked in, they'd scream in shock and horror at _children_ doing a _ritual._ Didn't they know it was _dangerous_ , and required _absolute trust_ between the people doing this? Didn't they know it was _permanent?_

Why, yes, they did. Severus half smiled as Lily stood on her toes to draw something above the window.

"Done! Sev, go stand at the edge of the circle, in the cone. Once you stand there, it's acceptance - it'll happen whether you want it to or not. Ready?"

"I was _born_ ready. How long do you think it'll take for the ritual to take hold?"

"Probably... Hhm... five hours. In this time, we'll get a quick crash-course in each other's lives, at least, the parts that we don't already know. Then, we'll be unconscious for three hours where our magic melds and we'll get all the information that the other has. Which means that you'll understand _why_ we need a cone, not a triangle, as soon as we're done!" This, Lily knew was familiar ground. Arguing over silly things was fun - they tried to outsmart each other, it was a clashing of wits, and both came out happier that they were able to twist around the other for just a bit.

"There's no difference! The cone just needs extra shading and a curved bottom and more time to draw!" Yes, Sev had a small smile, had a small gleam in his eye that said he enjoyed this.

" _No,_ a cone is 3D, and it's more curved -" And Lily was grinning - their stupid arguments were brilliant, because they both raised good points that helped them understand the subject and made essay writing easier and made life more fun anyway.

"So just draw a circle around the triangle-"

"A cone melds the two together better, it makes the magic flow easier -"

"Why? Wouldn't people _notice_ this if it were true?"

"No, they wouldn't, because - Oh, you know what, just get in your place, you - you _goose."_

The two friends looked at each other, before Severus snorted.

"Goose, am I?"

"Yes. Now, get into position... alright... let's start. _Amikeh_ _dalie nufeikamesh runde..."_

As Lily chanted, the air around them swirled. Severus belatedly realized that he, too, was chanting, and then both of them were walking forward, kneeling, facing each other with the bowl of water and the floating candle between them. The scroll of parchment with their wish was next to the knife.

Lily picked up the knife, making a long, thin cut across her left palm. The knife remained clean (Magic was _weird_ , Severus decided [again, for the millionth time]). Lily gave him the knife, and he repeated her action. They two clasped their cut palms, waiting for their mixed blood to drop into the bowl of water. After a few drops fell into the copper bowl, the candles lit themselves... all except the white one in the center of the bowl. Severus - using his right hand, as his left was still holding on to Lily's left - took the parchment and placed it on the candle.

It burst into flame, but didn't burn. The candle, too, was on fire.

The children froze in their positions, unable to move, even breath. They were unaware of their bodies, the pain in their knees, the matching cuts.

They were watching the other's life.

* * *

Lily was five when she stole a brownie from her mother's plate. Her mother pretended not to notice, and 'accidentally' dropped a new one into Petunia's plate so it would be fair.

Petunia standing up to bullies that laughed at her, Lily throwing snowballs at boys who called Petunia names.

Petunia stating it was unfair that Lily had red hair and _starving_ herself to make her look prettier, refusing to eat, her face growing more and more horselike. Lily promising that she would try to help in any way - they two of them spending _hours_ figuring out Mascara and lipstick and _why are there so MANY brushes in this make-up set?_

Petunia eating.

Lily yelling at Petunia. Vise Versa.

A boy kissing Petunia. Her squeal. Lily was _not_ jealous. At _all_. She did _not_ want a boy to look at her with the besotted way he looked at Petunia, she didn't need a boy bringing her stupid flowers and what-not, she insisted to her mother again and again, all within Petunia's hearing range.

James asking her out. She punched him.

James doing so _many_ stupid things.

Sirius Black kissing her friend. Her friend crying when Black broke up with her. Lily turning Black's hair bright pink and hexing him to sing in public.

Crushing on Lupin - he couldn't see her emotions, but it was obvious in the way she stuttered and turned red near him. Lupin gently telling Lily that he would not live past thirty (Of course he wouldn't - the ministry treated Weres like _shit_ , he'd need a job, unless he found one in the muggle world, the transformations combined with lack of shelter would kill him). Lupin explaining that she wouldn't be happy with him. Telling her that she was more like a sister, anyway. Lily deciding that Lupin was her unofficial brother and making Potter and Black _swear_ to take care of the poor, scarred boy.

Trying and failing to learn to play Chess.

Crying, sobbing, over a letter that Petunia sent her.

Crying, Sobbing over _lack_ of a letter from Petunia. Sending her a beautiful, knitted sweater and so many different sweets and photos of everything until Petunia sent her a letter back.

Telling James that the giant _squid_ had more manners than a toe-rag like _him_ , and please go ruin someone else's day, _thank_ -you.

Feeding the Giant Squid. Informing her friends that hey, the squid really _did_ have more manners than that toe-rag.

Reading under the blankets with a Lumos.

Staring at the mirror, trying - failing - to braid hair, worrying that she wasn't girly enough, worrying that she would fail transfiguration, worrying that she was a failure, even her _sister_ wouldn't write to her, and her friend comforting her.

Slytherins hexing her.

Hexing them back.

Ravenclaws glaring because she had better grades. Take that, 'claw. You should have known better.

Screaming when the entire Gryffindor and Ravenclaw charms class walked into the hallway to find the dead Jared, slit writs and eyes closed and a small smile.

Lily was easy to read, Severus thought, even when he couldn't feel her emotions, he could see them - her face was _so_ expressive.

She really did love her sister, he decided, as the memory faded and he fell asleep.

* * *

"MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!" Tobias Snape, Muggle, drunkard, abusive, and Severus' father raised the belt. Eileen - Severus' mother - cowered.

Severus threw himself in front of Eileen, raising his arms, hair flying, and Tobias was thrown back, the arm holding the belt cracked.

Eileen making nutrient potions and teaching Sev to do it so he would have enough calories, so he would grow and be strong, because Tobias spent money on drink and sent Sev to bed without dinner and there was rarely breakfast in the house.

Sev sneaking into Diagon Alley and making money out of organizing books in Flourish and Bolts. (And taking time to read, secretly, swallowing information on Hogwarts, were he'd be safe and happy and wasn't Hogwarts such a wonderful place?)

The Slytherins, laughing at Mudbloods, and Severus swallowing responses.

Channeling all of his hate and anger into enticing the Marauders into a fight. After all, he was so controlled everywhere except when he saw them.

Watching Potter aim at a group of firsties and calling him coward. (He really did protect them, didn't he?)

The friendship with Jared, and Sev's realization that Bellatrix Black and Narcissa Black killed him, Lucius being so impressed that he began to court Narcissa.

Walking in on Andromeda Black kissing Hufflepuff Ted Tonks in a private classroom, the 'puff boy yelling at him to get out... No wonder Jared loved you, he was a masochist after all, Severus snapped at him before running away.

Inventing spells.

Ted coming to him and apologizing and explaining that he had loved Jared too.

Inventing potions.

Running away, not listening to Ted's apology for more than thirty seconds because if the Slytherins saw him with a mud blood -

Reading.

Sending his mother a letter with a potion that puts people under the control of a voice - the first voice they hear when they drink the potion. Getting a letter back, saying that Tobias now follows her every instruction to the letter. He no longer drinks. He brings all the money he ears to her. His dedication to his work increased tremendously. He no longer speaks badly about anyone. He got a promotion. Things were looking up. He was no longer aloud to hurt her or Severus in any way, shape or form.

Petunia coming to him on the playground, telling him that 'Lily's sick, you freak, you stay away from her, you stay away from my family, you _freak_.'

Learning about dementors from a book in Flourish in Bolts, realizing they _eat souls,_ and promptly looking up Expecto Patronum. Practicing. Failing. (Lily decided that she should try the spell, and then help him cast it).

Listening to stories of 'the Dark Lord' in the common room, being oh-so-impressed with Lucius' Dark Mark... learning you had to kill someone to get it. Severus' expression twitched, showing revulsion, before coming back to being impressed. (Lily was impressed with his acting. She did not know that Severus _was_ repulsed... and impressed. Aw-struck. Lucius was able to kill, and that impressed him... and repulsed him. Lily only saw the repulsion, and, to be honest, the only thing _left_ was repulsion. Severus had long since realized that killing a man was easy - nothing to be impressed over.)

Sneaking into the Forbidden Forest to collect Ingredients. Being found by Hagrid. Sev was not wearing a Slytherin robe - just his black cloak - and that was the _one_ reason Hagrid didn't turn him in immediately. But Sev was begging, pleading with Hagrid to show him the Thestrals. Hagrid, thinking he'd found another animal lover, didn't turn him in, didn't give detention. Instead, he introduced Severus to the Thestrals and to the Hippogryphs and to the unicorns. Severus had collected a bunch of Thestral and Unicorn hair. Both were very happy. (Lily had to stop from laughing - that was _just_ like Hagrid).

A knife. Severus was _holding a knife_ _,_ Sev was _holding a knife and his sleeves were rolled up,_ and then Sev said, out loud, "Would I rather have a Dark Mark or a bloody line?" There was a knock on the door - Sev hid the knife - Lily saw herself walk in and then the memory changed.

But she remembered that day. Even as she watched Sev in Arithmancy class, she remembered when she walked in on his guilty-looking face, dragged him into Hogsmead and into the Three Broomsticks and kissed his cheek and promised that midterms would be over soon. She had been an idiot.

His judicious use of Dark magic made her feel sick. But she understood him, watching as the Slytherin Common Room was, in every memory, the most dangerous place in the school, where students yelled and promoted a 'better world', where they practiced hexing and cursing, and where Lucius was so... powerful and compelling and Regulus Black wept over Sirius refusing to speak to him. (She made a mental note to make Sirius talk to his brother).

She watched as people sneared at him, going "You're only half, aren't you? So you'll be a target half the time." There was a muggle born boy, seventh year, Hufflepuff, and he was the other target. He was tied to a stake, bledding, and they Obliviated him when they were done and left him in front of the Hufflepuff common room, bleeding and broken. And then, Sev was tied to the stake. Not for hours, like the Hufflepuff head boy... just for ten minutes. And explaining that he got less time because of his blood, his half-pure blood.

Sev, being told to _prove_ that he was _worthy_ ofbeing here, in Hogwarts, because he was only half. Sev getting better potions grades than Anyone, inventing spells, proclaiming his 'Prince' line. That's right, his mother was Eileen Prince.

Sev spending hours warding his bed after being cursed in his sleep for... being friends with _her._ (She felt sick).

Sev cursing Muggleborns, making them scream... but she could see that there was, truly, little damage. (She didn't know that he wasn't _aiming_ for damage, he was aiming for the screams - that's what impressed his friends). She was glad he was trying to protect the muggleborns.

She watched him cry.

Lily decided that as of now, Sev was sleeping somewhere else. He would live somewhere else. She had no intention of letting him _ever_ go back to that monstrous place.

She watched him, one morning, sew pockets, hidden pockets into his robes, where he hid Polyjuice and Veritiseam and Dreamless Sleep and Nutrient Potions and so many others. Always. Potions and Poisons.

He had a wand holster... he couldn't afford it. He had _made_ one, out of bandages and glue and magic and long nights staying awake. He was resourceful and determined... and he was almost handsome like that, with his hair shaggy and everywhere and frowning slightly, eyes wide and glittering with excitement, his tongue poking out of his thin lips, almost glowing with excitement, flushed and breathing carefully.

Black and Sev dueling over something stupid... Sev aiming his wand and giving boils to Sirius Black...

And then the memory faded and Lily was asleep.

* * *

It was three hours later when they woke up, feeling as though they had slept the entire night. The runes on the walls and shapes on the floor were gone, as where the candles - though small splatters of wax remained where they had stood. The copper bowl was filled with ashes, but there was no hint of blood or water. The knife was clean, as it had been before.

Both Severus' and Lily's left palms had a single long thin white scar that would last forever.

"Woah..." Lily breathed, blinking at her new Occlumency shields. The sheer amount of knowledge of the Dark Arts was disturbing, of course, and now that Severus had her grace and balance... he was deadly. As, she realized, was she.

She also had a faint smudge on her cheekbone... which she knew because Sev was looking at her, and he saw the smudge, so it was now in his short-term memory... so she knew it.

This was brilliant.

Sev stood up, offering a hand to Lily.

"That," he breathed, "Was _incredible_."

"Most _definitely._ " The two of them blinked at each other for a moment, still processing, before Lily grinned.

"You know, even with all my new knowledge, I _still_ think that cones are better than triangles."

The children collapsed, laughing, even as they straightened their robes and tried to head down to breakfast.

* * *

"Now that Snivellous called her Mudblood, she's _definitely_ going to come after me!" James told his friends, grinning happily as they went down to breakfast.

"I dunno, mate... she doesn't like you either way. And there are _plenty_ of other boys for her to choose from." Remus cautioned carefully.

"Ah, Shove off, Moony, the only boys she _knows_ are us and Snivellous, and the Greasy Git 'snot an option anymore, and the three of us en't gonna take her 'cuz she's James'." Sirius explained, pounding James' back.

"Y-yeah... Evans is going to date Prongs." (Pettigrew was ignored).

"See? Padfoot gets it!" James grinned at his friend.

"Ah, but Prongs, which boy did she call a toe rag? Again? If you want her, you have to be _worthy_ of her." Remus explained. After she had made Sirius and James swear to protect him, he decided to help her in any way he could. And making James mature was definitely going to make her life easier. Lily wasn't like a sister to him - more like... a cousin. Yes, a cousin, family, but without the annoying-ness and growing up together-ness that a sister had. But family, and loyalty to family none the less.

"Hhm. Good point, Moony... I'll have to show her I'm smart and sophisticated, yeah? I've got good grades, make sure she knows that, and give her flowers and such... maybe offer condolences on Snape calling her... that word, mm?" James messed up his hair, frowning slightly while plotting.

"Well Done, Prongs - that's the perfect plan of attack. While your conquest of Lily is going' forward, don't mind if I spend breakfast wooing a pretty thing from the puffs, would you?" Sirius tried - and failed - to sound confident.

"PADFOOT! Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed? Going after Amelia Bones is a _death wish_ , you hear me?" Remus gaped at his friend, wide eyed and slightly scared of his stupidity.

"Yeah, Sirius, Bones is... a nutcase. More or less. She's never been romantically involved with _anyone_ \- you'll have more luck going after her twin Edgar, and Edgar's head over heals with some Gruff-Girl the year below us." James grinned at his friend, waggling his eyebrows. Sirius' grin faltered slightly, before he bolstered himself.

"Nah, I'll get the Bones girl, you'll see. Say, Remus, have you got your eye on anyone?"

Remus opened his mouth to answer negatively, before James spoke up with a wicked smirk.

"You _did_ try to defend Snivellous... are you _certain_ you're not after anyone _at all?_ " There was a moment of silence, and then Remus spun to face his friends, snarling slightly.

"I have no problem going out with boys - I already told you I had a crush on Sirius in third year. But if you insinuate I have something for a Death Eater, even one in training, I will _hunt you down._ "

"Geez, Moony, that's not what I meant... I'm sorry, alright? I won't -"

At that moment, in the midsts of James' apology, Lily walked past the group... with Severus walking with her. James spun to look at her, noticing all the little changes. The way they seamed more in sync. The way they were grinning at each other, with Snivels' hair pulled back and Lily's hair in a _braid_ \- who had braided it for her? She didn't know how! And - she was almost glowing, and _why_ were they so in sync? It was slightly creepy, the way they were so close but never bumping into each other. And... Severus was _holding her bag._

And then, with some horror, James realized that Lily had never entered the common room last night.

 _Oh... MERLIN! She didn't -_

When Lily and Snivels entered the Great Hall, James turned to his friends.

"Lily never entered the common room last night, so she had to spend the night elsewhere, and she's... glowing, all _happy_ , and her hair's _braided,_ and, did you see how _close_ the two of them walked to each other?"

He was looking at Moony, asking him to refute what he was saying. After all, Remus had revealed to them that due to his sensitive nose, he could smell whether or not a person... spent the night elsewhere... after all, the two scents mix for a few hours afterward.

"They... they didn't do _it,_ but... they... they're pack. To each other. Like, if you do anything to either of them, the other would more or less incapacitate you. Or, depending on how much you hurt them, kill you. They're absolutely devoted... and Severus... he's definitely head over heals." (The pheromones told him that Severus had been head over heals for a while, too). Moony took a deep breath before continuing. He hated seeing his friend hurt...

"It's not just friendship... And Lily is _definitely_ more aware than before. I'm not sure how much, they only walked past - I'd need more time... but, James, you realize that if Lily forgave him calling her Mudblood, there's _nothing_ she won't forgive him? And she... hates you. More or less."

There was a long beat of silence, before James sighed and ran his hand through his hair again.

"Let's just go sit near her at the Gryff. table. After all, he's a snake, he can't sit with us. The Gryffs would kill him, and she can't sit with the Snakes, they'd kill her." And James spun away, stomping into the Great Hall. Sirius hesitated, then went to Hufflepuff to get Amelia to at least look at him.

At the Great Hall, James glanced at the Gryffindor Table to find that Lily wasn't there.

She wasn't there.

... What? She had just entered the Great Hall, so where else would she sit?

He looked at the Hufflepuff table, to find Sirius reading Bones some poetry while Bones looked decidedly unimpressed, then at the Ravenclaw table... And there was Lily, sitting with Andromeda Black (Sirius' approved cousin), Ted Tonks (Andromeda's Hufflepuff boyfriend), and... Severus Snape.

Who was right next to Lily, across from Andromeda, while Ted was across from Lily.

Merlin damn it.

Well... James took a deep breath in and ruffled his hair. Then, he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, his robes flaring and the first few buttons of his shirt were open. After smirking slightly, he walked - swaggered - up to Lily, and the girl next to her made room for the Quidditch player immediately.

"Hey, Evans."

"Potter. Sev, would you pass me the jam? The strawberry?"

"Sure..." Severus met James' eyes, and gave a blissful smile. "Lily." And Severus passed the jam... that happened to be closer to James, and easier for James to pass to Lily. James pursed his lips, eyes darkening. Usually, this would make Snape scowl back... but this time? This time, he had seen Lily's experience with ribbing Petunia. So he kept smiling, widening his eyes, looking innocent. And this time? It was James who scowled.

"Hey, Snape... How'd you convince Evans here to take you back after the language you used? Did you wash your mouth with soap?"

"I'd thank you _not_ to talk about me as if I'm absent from the area, _Potter_." Lily's retorts were sweat music to his ears, Severus decided. With Potter's scowls art to his eyes.

"Severus and I had a long conversation that just _happens_ to be _none_ of your business."

"What's the matter, _Snivellous?_ Letting the _girl_ answer for you?"

"Actually, I thought that Lily happens to bring up good points, and I have no problem listening to her wisdom and beautiful voice. It's a pity that only _some_ can learn to listen and hear and learn something new. After all, what do _you_ do in class? Play with your friends?"

"I pay attention, you-"

"It's a wonder you even pass school, but with parents like yours... Well, the Malfoys aren't the _only_ ones to donate to the school, you're still here, and you don't exactly live in a house, do you? It's more of a mansion. So really, your brains are clearly not something to be proud of." The best defense is a good offense. And Lily trying to hide her smile and failing was a reward onto itself. She cut across James' retort with a question:

"Do... do you really think my voice beautiful?" There was a moment of silence as Andromeda and Ted stopped whispering to each other to glance at Severus and Lily, and the girls around them suddenly looked up. There was _romance_ happening - it'd be a crime _not_ to pay attention.

"I - I think all of you is beautiful." Sev hesitated for a moment as Lily blinked at him with her wide green eyes. There was only one Hogsmeade weekend left, and...

"Would - would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me?" Lily blinked once, twice, and smiled, beaming at her best friend since forever.

"Yes, Severus, I would love to come with you."

James stormed away angrily, running to the library and throwing himself into studying for the next OWL. He loved the girl since he had first seen her. She was... everything. And she wasn't _his,_ she washis rival's and there was _nothing_ he could do. He loved her, had loved her since he first saw her - loved her red hair and green eyes, loved her thoughtfulness and kindness and righteous anger and temper and handwriting and her slouch and the way she walked with a straight back but slouched when she sat and the way she ate and everything about her was a gift to the world from Merlin himself. She was... everything. The only thing left... well. Pranking had been a way to get her to look at him - in anger, yes, but she was glorious even in anger - but the only thing left had been fighting Voldemort.

There had been two goals in his life, since he had heard the two things that gave him those goals: Lily's voice and his parents whispering about You-Know-Who.

And Lily... Lily wasn't... she wasn't... he had no chance with her.

So James decided to fight You-Know-Who. He'd get BRILLIANT scores on his OWLS, study through the summer, and take NEWTS early. Get into the Auror Academy early. He'd be the youngest Auror in... three centuries? (The only one who did it before reaching twenty was some genius who became an auror at sixteen). And he _could_ do it - James was smart. He knew he was smart. The pranks that the Marauders pulled couldn't be done by stupid people.

So - the Plan: He could become an Auror at a young age, and if he did it right, he could become head of DMLE soon after. Sirius had, too, wanted to be an auror... but Moony was good at organizing and keeping things together - he'd be an excellent Minister. As a matter of fact, why not? Remus would be the first ever were-wolf _and_ half-blood Minister of Magic. And Peter liked small, cushy jobs - he'd be head of the sports department, and they were all set! The Ministry would be cleaned of Prejudice, and they'd all fight You-Know-Who together! (And... maybe, if he became head of DMLE... Lily would notice him.)

James kept studying, explaining he plan to the other marauders when they joined him in the Library. They all agreed wholeheartedly - after all, why not?

* * *

Severus, after kissing Lily on the cheek, went to the Slytherin common room, and through there to his dormitory. He had to get his books, after all. And at this point, with Lily's quiet 'love you' in his ears, he felt... invincible. _Nobody_ could hurt him, he decided as he picked his bag off of his bed. Everything will be perfectly fine, because Lily said 'love you' to him, so the world was clearly perfect. Floating in Euphoria, Severus Snape went down the stairs into the Slytherin Common Room.

And paused.

The Euphoria disappeared, replaced by adrenaline as Severus palmed his wand. He felt as though someone had punched him in the gut.

 _Lucius Malfoy, Marked Death Eater, Seventh Year,_ was blocking the doorway _._

Next to him, to his left, was _Narcissa Black - engaged to Lucius - killed Jared - Seventh Year._

In front of the fireplace, a few yards to his left, was _Bellatrix Black - Narcissa's sister, engaged to elder Lestrange, Marked Death Eater, killed Jared, Seventh Year._ Next to Bellatrix, to her left, was _Evan Rosier - Seventh Year. Not Marked yet._

A few yards behind him, to his right, were the _Lestrange brothers - eldest betrothed to Bellatrix, Seventh Year, the younger in Sixth year._

Ah... he was screwed. It was him against the six of them... unless he managed to talk himself out of it. Severus forced himself to relax - he had to appear innocent.

"So... Severus... spending your time on Mudbloods now?" Lucius was warning him, a quiet, deadly voice that meant that the wrong answer would get him killed.

"Well, she's a good fuck-toy. I was stressed over the OWLs, I figured she'd be happy to bend over for me. Turned out I was right. It was a great way to get revenge on that damned Potter as well, wouldn't you say? Wait till he realizes his so-called true love is just used goods." Severus painted a smug and twisted expression on his face, letting Lucius think what he wanted to think.

"Why eat breakfast with her?"

"Weren't you listening? I wanted Potter to know that _I took her_. Besides - I sat next to gossips. Soon, _everyone_ will know that Potter loves a mudblood _whore._ "

There was a long pause, while Severus' smirk grew. He had forgotten how _easy_ lying was, how simple it was to say what they wanted to hear... Lucius nodded, a quick, sharp nod, and turned, walking away hand-in-hand with Narcissa. There was a short pause, before Evan Rosier and the Lestrange brothers scampered after them, leaving Bellatrix Black.

The girl turned toward Severus Snape and smiled. She was beautiful, with her wild hair and her tight robes and dark eyes the aura of power she emitted.

"You know... there will be an attack on Hogsmead next weekend... and either you join in, give me _proof_ you're on the right side, or I'll tell My Lord that we have a traitor in our midst. After all..." Bellatrix unrolled her sleeve, showing Severus the Dark Mark. "I'm his _most trusted._ " With that, she swept away, swinging her hips seductively and laughing.

Severus shuddered and ran to his Ancient Runes class. He slipped into the classroom, thanking Merlin that this class had only Ravenclaws, him, Lily, and Lupin. No Slytherins.. He sat down next to Lily, opening his mouth to tell her about the attack, when she cut him off.

"I know - I see your memories, remember?"

That's right - just like Sev realized that she came to class early and saved him a seat and was slightly worried about Lupin frowning at her for the entire time she was waiting for him.

There was no more chances to talk, then, because the teacher came in and announced a practice test.

* * *

Severus gasped, putting his hand to his side. Blood loss, magical exhaustion... This would _not_ end well. The men, white masks, black robes, laughter and curses, surrounded him. He knew, from Lily's memories, that the Order knew where he was. That they were coming...

Lily was coming.

And he was _damned_ if he let _anyone_ hurt Lily. So he took the moment to swallow a hidden vial of pepper-up and nutrient potions... before taking a few different acids into his left hand. His aim was terrible. It didn't matter - there were so many of them, that no matter where he threw, it would hit someone.

One more deep breath. He would _not_ die on his knees, and that one breath meant he'd die on his feat, standing, a soldier, a fighter, someone to remember, because they'd be horrified that at the thought that _all_ of them would go with him... after all, the anti-apparation wards trapped them too.

Severus hauled himself to his feat, shooting a wild, wide 'inferno' to his right and throwing random bottles of acid to his left.

And then he had a brain wave... right before a multitude of curses hit him and he went down again. Dimly, he heard Bellatrix' laughter, her madness ringing in his ears.

But. With his last moment, he transfigured the marble floor into gasoline. It sunk into their boots and the bottoms of their robes and some even leaned down to touch it with their fingers. Fools. They thought it was oily water and laughed at him.

Quietly, he whispered, just as Lestrange was yelling her 'Avada Kedavra', he whispered 'inferno' while activating the emergency portkey. Of course it wouldn't work - there was an anti-portkey ward - but if the man who put it up died before he was summoned to Lily, he'd get through.

While he was spinning, he felt his side burning and bleeding, his left leg burning, his back screaming. Then he landed, saw Lily, and everything went black.

* * *

Lily gasped, sitting upright. She had seen the curses fly around her, had fought back, when the air cleared... there was Sev, her own Sev, fighting tooth and nail against a... figure. It didn't matter. What mattered was the Sev was _loosing,_ falling... merlin, she hated that nightmare.

Slipping on a green nightshirt, she left the bed and wandered into the kitchen, hesitating for only a moment before floo-ing to #12 Grimmauld Place. She knew Sev would be there, talking tactics... even though it was 3. He never took care of himself, honestly, that man... Merlin, keep him safe.

She didn't think to put on something more respectable than the shirt that reached to the inch above her knees and hung off one shoulder and didn't reach her elbows.

It's wasn't tight, per se, just... thin. Not see through, just thin. Her hair in a mess and with tears streaming down her cheeks, Lily stumbled into the kitchen of the Head of the Order of the Phoenix, where Severus was pouring over some tactics with James Potter - "If we station troops in the Hog's Head and in Godric's Hollow..."

"Sev?" Severus spun around to face his wife, taking off his robes and wrapping them around her before hugging the distraught woman. Lily clutched at Severus' shirt and sobbed and he picked her up and sat her on his lap on the couch.

"What happened?"

"It was... a dream, nothing - nothing Imp-important..." Lily kept crying.

"Sh, love, it's clearly important if it's got you sobbing..."

"Was a fight. We were all fighting the 'Eaters, and I was stuck - Petrificus Totalus - and I could see you fighting but I couldn't help you..."

"Sh... You've got better reflexes and your shield is too strong to be broken by a mere petrifying spell..."

"I could see you... you were fighting someone, and there was a flash of green light and you were on the ground and I couldn't reach you..."

"It's Ok, Lily, I'm alive... besides, there are Green stunners and such, it doesn't mean death right away... and honestly, Lily, I'm a _Slytherin -_ I'm cunning enough to dodge a simple spell."

And that made Lily laugh.


	2. Chapter 2

The practice test was easier than Severus expected. Then again... he had all of Lily's knowledge of Ancient Runes, and he thought it may have been easier than expected for her, as well - he had studied Runed Cauldrons back in third year, and that certainly gave her an edge. She finished three minutes earlier than usual, while he finished ten minutes earlier than usual - both of them done at the same time. As soon as the parchments were handed in, Lily pulled Severus outside to talk, neither aware that Lupin's were-wolf raised hearing meant that he was listening to every word even as he checked over his runes.

"Alright," Lily began "So we know that Bellatrix Black and Lucius Malfoy are marked Death Eaters. And we know that a ton of Death Eaters are going to attack Hogsmead when the students all go there. That's the next weekend, Sunday, isn't it? May first. Beltane."

"Yes."

"Tell Dumbledore, obviously, and -"

"No. Listen, Lily, just listen - you've seen my life. All of it. Dumbledore never interfered with _any_ of the hunts, anything that the Marauders ever did - he lets people have free reign. And, nowadays, if you look at the Daily Prophet, you'll notice something: the Aurors die, a few Death Eaters are captured, and then they escape from the holding cells before they ever get to Azkaban. Lily, this is a war! Remember the end of second year? You were studying the second world war - you told me two quotes - what were they?" Severus was panting slightly. He needed the Gryffindor Lily - brave and brilliant and ruthless. Her being the 'good girl' would not help right now at all.

"The first quote... by somebody Russel... is 'War does not determine who is right - only who is left.' The second quote... by General Patton... is 'the object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.' Dumbledore doesn't condone this... You're saying he'd leave Hogsmeade to die. And we can't allow that. Sev, there's a reason Britain doesn't use child-soldiers! We can't -"

"It's too late for that. Dumbledore is not a general, so the Light are leaderless. Lily... in a chess game, you need someone to control the pieces, and to win, you take the other side's pieces. And right now, _no one is playing_ _white_. What do we do?"

"Alright... Sev, we've got something on our side: It's Beltane. Summer - the time of judgement and fairness. If it was winter... the time of the Hunt, survival of the fittest, we'd be doomed... but it's summer. And it's Beltane, when human sacrifices had been allowed - I can work with this. It's too soon to do another ritual safely, but I can get Lupin to do it, he's muggle-raised, he'll understand, and I need you to... ah... how're we going to get the students of Hogwarts to remain here?"

There was a pause. Severus closed his eyes. He already had an idea, but he didn't like it much. Involving the Marauders... actually, he could do that. The message would have to be passed on through Andromeda and Ted, but he could do it.

"Leave it to me. As long as Andromeda, Ted, and all the Marauders except Lupin are free... I'll get the students to stay." A perk? Potter and Black would be missing the last Hogsmeade weekend... of their own free will, not realizing they were being manipulated, if this worked.

As the bell rang and Lily and Severus left the hallway, Lupin left the classroom, having heard... everything. There was a Hogsmeade Weekend... and Lily had a plan to stop it.

Without help. (Severus didn't count).

God, that was _just_ like Lily. She often went about, doing things - homework, projects, emotional pain - without admitting weakness. But they couldn't do it alone. They'd need some help, at least... He'd tell Dumbledore he heard students talking about an attack on Hogsmeade, and could the Headmaster do something? please?

So Lupin hurried up the stairs, unaware that both Headmaster and Student were thinking of the same pair of people.

Meanwhile, Albus sighed wearily. He had the portraits doing night patrol - he needed to see what happened in his castle at night. During the day, they mostly headed towards areas with the most commotion, to clear up any 'hunts' by calling teachers.

But during the night... when a picture (of a young man with a bow and fierce expression) came running and screaming about "A ritual-blood-bonding"... well, Albus couldn't interfere. He had come to the room too late, and to step in now... It would kill all three of them. But didn't the children knew what they were doing? To spill your blood in the name of Magic meant, automatically, that one was prepared to spill others' blood. So now, Magic would demand that both Lily and Severus fight in the war and kill... it would be more and more tempting to kill until Magic decided that it's enough, that they've spilled enough blood to atone for their own.

He sincerely hoped that both would be on the Light Side - it was a bonding ritual, so they'd be on the same side, and the idea of such talented people who are ready to kill on the side of the Dark did _not_ bode well for the wizarding world.

Just then, he was alerted of someone, a student, beginning the gargoyles to let him - her? - through. With a sigh - he didn't want to deal with this! - Albus let the student into his office. Remus Lupin - Gryffindor, Fifth Year, WereWolf, friend of James and Sirius and Peter - entered. Lupin went to the chair, and sat down, straightening up. His eyes were closed and he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

"Headmaster. I heard Bellatrix telling someone - unsure who - that Hogsmeade's going to get attacked next weekend, when the students are out... can you get aurors?"

Dumbledore froze for half a second before he sprang into action, running over to the fireplace and flooing a couple of friends.

"Auror are spread thin as it is - thank you for telling me this, dear boy - Lets see, Fabian and Gregory Prewett, Emmaline Vance, yes, I'll get them stationed..."

It took twenty minutes of planning and telling the fledging Order to 'casually be there' on the weekend. When Dumbledore at last sat back on his chair, he was shocked to find Lupin still there. The boy was shifting nervously, refusing to look him in the face, biting his lip.

"Yes, my boy?"

"I have a question on morality. If you were, ah, wandless - I mean, let's say you're trapped in a cave somewhere, and you can't get out, there's wards or something, and you can't use wandless magic and you don't have Fawkes - basically, you're trapped without magic. But, you have a magic stone that will kill a guy if you throw it at him. Now, as you're trapped with that rock, some guy enters the cave. He's a psychotic murderer who's killed before and wants to kill you and is _pointing his wand at you and saying the curse_. Would you throw the rock at him?"

"No, my boy. Killing is never the answer."

"But! It's self-defense! It's him or you, and _you're_ not a murderer!"

"Nevertheless, killing is not the answer."

Lupin radiated incredulity and horror as he stumbled away to find Lily... though Dumbledore didn't know that. No, Dumbledore went back to trying to win the war. Remus ran to first the Library, then the Gryffindor Common Room, before finding Lily... with Severus... by the lake.

"Remus?"

"Lupin, why must you disrupt our peace? Don't you have anything better to do?" And that was Severus.

"I heard. During 'Runes class, you were talking, I heard - and I'm on your side, I'll help with whatever you need, I JUST SAID I WOULD HELP!"

"SEVERUS THERE IS NO NEED TO - OH PUT _DOWN_ YOUR WAND, YOU CHILD!"

Severus' left hand was holding the back of Lupin's head, while his right hand had been holding his wand to Lupin's throat. There had been no time to get away - Severus was _fast_ at close quarters. However, at Lily's cry, he - slowly - lowered his wand and stepped away.

Lily spoke again: "You'll help us?"

"Y-yes."

"Right. Beltane is a day of human sacrifice, and the sacrifices were marked. If you rune this right, then magic will decide that every person with the Dark Mark is a sacrifice. Ergo, none of them will leave alive."

"But, it won't protect the villagers! They could be hurt, is this _really_ the best plan, the people, they could _die_ -"

"It'll make their spells stronger, so everything is deadly. A stupefy is pressure to the heart, this time it'll be too strong and rupture the heart. Jelly-legs stops the nerves from talking to muscles in the legs for only a few seconds, but in this case, it'll be for the entire body for several minutes - the person can't breath. Everything is deadly. It helps that it's spring, so it's judgement and whatnot, not 'survival of the fittest'... and we need a distraction. I can't do the runing because too many rituals is... deadly."

Well. Clearly Lily, like James, was an Alpha. Either James and Lily would be a perfect match, or they'd tear each other apart. Then, Severus spoke - he was a sort of Beta-Loner, Lupin decided. Unlike Sirius, who was a Beta, or Peter, Omega through and through.

"We'll need a distraction. My idea was to get 'Meda and Ted, Potter and Black, maybe a few others, and get them to throw a party here. A masked Ball for the adults, freeze over the lake and have charmed skates so no one falls, chess tournament, and checkers and muggle games - monopoly, football (soccer), Risk, Life... muggle and magic foods, but what's muggle and what's magic isn't explained. And no house colors allowed. Everyone comes in... and the Purebloods enjoy muggle things. At the end, there's a survey, asking what people enjoyed the most. The results, if Purebloods happen to like muggle things, like the ice skating, are published. Ergo, the Marauders do this as a prank on the Slytherins, everyone else does this as a party, and everyone joins in."

Moony gaped at the Slytherin's manipulations, before remembering that hey, Severus was _human_ , and he _thought_ about things.

"We could sell it to James a second way, as well: Tell him it'll impress you, Lily, and he'll do it. I'll tell him that it'll show you that not _all_ his pranks hurt people... I'll get them to do this."

"I'll figure out which ritual we need to do... thank god the Village is on a hill; it's like an altar, makes things easier..." Lily announced her part of the plan.

"And I'll convince the Slytherins - the younger ones, at least - to attend."

With that, all three of them split up, agreeing to meet up at 8:00 in the classroom near the Gryffindor Common Room.

Severus swept away to the dungeons, quickly asking Lucius to call a House Meeting - he had information, a lot of it, and he needed to share it. Now. In public, this concerned everyone.

When Lucius Malfoy asked for something, it happened. In front of the house, Severus began to speak.

"Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade on Sunday, when there's a weekend. Now, if _only_ the Slytherins stay here, we'll be blamed. And I don't feel comfortable with three seventh-year Gryffs against a firstie Slytherin. On the other hand, a bunch of _idiots_ had the _stupidity_ to announce their plan for a party on the grounds during that day. It's supposed to be an 'inter-house' thing, for all years... but they're planning the party without informing Slytherins and a bit after the students leave the school - the Slytherins in Hogsmeade, the rest partying. I'm unsure if information of the Death Eater raid somehow reached the Gryffs... but I have a solution. Without wearing _any_ house colors, we send Slytherins to the party. Everyone under fifth year will be sent to the party looking as different as possible - make yourself look like mud bloods. When you come back, everyone is to submit any useful information they find. This is good useful practice on spying, because it's not just listening behind columns. Meanwhile, everyone above Fifth Year - _including me_ \- go to Hogsmeade to join in on the raid. Because there will be at least a _few_ students going to the village, and there are _plenty_ of people living there."

Severus paused to breath. Now, to see if his plan will be accepted... if it won't, he'll loose all political clout in Slytherin. If it will... well, his power might just rise. Might.

Lucius Malfoy asked a quiet, but pointed question.

"And... your mud blood?"

"I'm taking her on a date... wouldn't want her to miss out on all the _fun_ , of course." Severus gave a lewd sneer before continuing, his words growing in vehemence.

"I want her to beg for it... well, for both - for _it_ and for a quick death." This passed Lucius' approval, and he gave a slow nod before beginning to speak. Severus immediate gave the stage to Lucius - doing anything else would be presumptuous. He'd be acting as if he was Malfoy's equal if he stood on the stage while Malfoy spoke, and he was not suicidal enough to do that.

"Any important information - actually, any information - is to be handed in to my Fiancee, Narcissa Black. If you're bellow fifth Year and wish to join the Raid, you have to tell me, my Fiancee, or Bellatrix. Unless Severus...?"

Ah. Hard choice. Joining in would make him closer to Lucius, more trusted... but it could look like he was looking for power. Which he was, but usurping Lucius, or even looking like he was usurping Lucius was dangerous. It was safer to decline.

"No need, Lucius, there's a reason I don't wish to be in control - figuring out all the tedious things isn't part of my extended repoirtee." Severus smirked, and Lucius smirked back, before turning back and giving orders. Severus leaned against the wall, relaxing... it worked, but he wondered what Lily was doing, and he rifled through the new memories to figure it out...

Ah. Lily was in the library. Currently, Lily was looking up Beltane, Sacrificial Rituals, Judgement Magic, and even with all the extra information from Lily, he _really_ did not understand what was written on the parchment she was scribbling on. Well, he understood the technicalities, but there were plenty of little things he missed, things that only Lily would ever understand. Just because you knew math didn't mean you understood how to apply it.

Lily lifted her head. The Marauders, Andromeda, Ted, Amos Diggory, Xenophilius Lovegood, and Mary McKinnon had all entered the Library and went to a corner. She could only hear bits and pieces of the discussion, but it seamed they wanted to include Teachers for some of the difficult casting - Remus saying "C'mon, James, we're pranking the Teachers, too! They're pranking and they don't even know it, isn't that the best prank of all times?" - and all them bending over loads of parchment. 'Phil' Lovegood mentioned using a Merry-Go-Round, and explaining that they could transfigure one easily... sort of easily, and make it work quickly, as well as turn faster than muggle ones. Andromeda asking for Scrabble to be included (Ravenclaws.) Lily rolled her eyes as they all plotted and planned, and went back to researching.

She'd supply and explain, Remus would draw the runes and such... and Severus would need to brew a few potions to dip those candles in, because, _honestly,_ even if she understood how it works doesn't mean she could do it... and it didn't mean she understood _everything._

This was Thursday... it would be best to do the ritual tonight, so it would have time to settle come Sunday.

Lily got back to work.

* * *

At 8:00, Severus was in the classroom, having left for 'another good fuck, the last one before she begs for death, not sex like the slut she is.'

He _hated_ saying things like that. As a matter of fact, Severus decided that all those people would pay for making him call Lily things like that. And those who were marked wouldn't survive Sunday, but they were murderers and prepared to murder again, so... cut your losses, all that. After that, it was Narcissa and Nott and the Lestrange brothers and Evan Rosier who had to pay.

At 8:01, Lily and Lupin entered, Lupin stuffing some cloak away.

"It's an invisibility cloak, asked James for it - told him I was seeing a girl, which was _technically_ true. Now... we're sneaking off, and I'll draw runes around while Severus brews candles, then I light the candles, say some spooky stuff, and that's it?"

There was a long moment of silence. _Trust Lupin to over-simplify everything_ , Severus sneered mentally. Then Lily spoke.

"Yes. But how're you so good at runes if you don't get rituals?"

"I understand enchanting objects, not rituals! They're completely different! Anyway - Severus, got your cauldron and all ingredients?"

Severus nodded. He was loath to speak to Lupin, and wanted to snap - badly. Unfortunately, that wouldn't end too well. It'd end in a full-blown argument, and they didn't have time for that. He'd settle for snapping and needling Lupin on the way back.

His cauldron and ingredients were all shrunk and in his pocket, and his cloak and robes were uncomfortably heavy.

"Let's leave later, when the villagers are asleep - around eleven. Meanwhile, let's - oh, Sev!" Lily threw herself at Severus, who caught her as she hugged him and began talking a mile a minute.

"Sev, after - after May first, when the Death Eaters attack... if you fight for our side, then they'll see, and - and - they could hurt you! You have to get your Trunk here, before Beltane - just do it tomorrow, get your trunk here and we'll get a place for you to sleep, you can't -"

"Oh, Lily." Severus kissed her forehead. He had thought of this, but to think _Lily_ , Lily, who had no idea how Politics worked, who only recently understood the dangers of Slytherin House, who had been his friend since forever, had thought of it as well... the idea warmed him.

"I'm not Marked, Lily. You just have to Stun me right at the beginning, right away. Then, when I fall under the table, wake me up... Oh, I know. I'll have a bit of Polyjuice in my pocket, an entire flask, enough for three hours. You'll put a bit of your hair in, and then the _both_ of us, or rather, the both of _you_ , will go out and fight." Lily relaxed, but didn't let go of him. He didn't let go of her, either. She was warm and pressed against him, and frankly, he wanted to kiss her. (Lupin was there. Lupin who was also one of her former crushes. Severus resolved to _speak_ to Lupin). The next three hours were spent... awkwardly. After a bit, everyone who brought their homework (Which was all three of them, these overachieving people who wanted the best grades in school) simply began to do it. And then, 10:30 pm struck. Or rather, Lily checked her watch and decided to 'get on with it'. During this time, Severus had brewed all the potions necessary, and the candles were wrapped up in his bag.

Quickly, Lupin threw the Invisibility Cloak - of course, spoiled brat Potter had one - over the three of them. Leaving was hard, as there were patrolling prefects and they all stepped on each other's feet.

Severus threw off the cloak, and made himself disillusioned.

"Lily, come here, and I'll do the same for you. Lupin, stay under the cloak."

This time, they moved faster, getting to the front doors, opening them, and running to Hogsmeade. It was _pure luck_ that no one caught them, and then, a bit off the road, Lily ground to a halt.

The next three hours were terrible.

Lupin chanted the words that Lily had written out for him, Severus placed candles in every nook and cranny - except of _course_ it wasn't that easy, the candles had to be specific colors and brewed within specific potions and everything was so _codified!_

Different stones were arranged in different patterns, all around the hill, and tiny fires were lit on certain rooftops - the fires lasting a total of 1.48 minutes, and then they had to be put out by _wind, not water, Lupin!_ , and _Mandrake Sapling there, not aconite sprig, honestly, Sev_ , and god...

It was _tedious._

For Lupin and Severus, who didn't fully understand this, it was torture. Oh, it was fun for Lily, who knew what she was doing, but the other two... following for direction for three hours was _hard_. They were _tired,_ for _Merlin's sake_ , and _Yes, yes, I'm chanting, Lily_ , Lupin grouched.

By the time they were done, the village was glowing a faint blue, and if one squinted, it appeared the hill was actually a huge, stone altar.

Too tired to do anything other than grumble, Lily and Remus stumbled to the Gryffindor Common Room and dormitory, while Severus dragged his trunk and all his things to the empty classroom next to the Gryffindor common room.

Yes, he was tired. Tired, and annoyed, and pissed as hell. But right now, he had something _very_ specific to do. Something that could not wait. After all, there were rumors that the Dark Lord was using Inferni, and exactly one person in Slytherin was steeped into the Dark enough to understand how to control FiendFyre (Not counting Lord Voldemort himself).

That person was Regulus Black - someone who couldn't do Wingardium Leviosa because it was light, but could Avada anyone with ease. Or, at least, he would be able to - had he not been weighed down with a (slightly skewed) moral compass. Severus, slinking into Slytherins' common room, depended on this compass now.

Breathing shallowly, Severus slipped into the fourth-year dormitory. Regulus Black was easy to see - he was more paranoid than all the other bastards combined. (Then again, he was raised a Black - he had a natural propensity for Dark Magic, he was raised to see everything as a threat, and Severus could bet that Regulus could kill Malfoy. Easily. Except that there was a small tear leaking out of Regulus left eye, down his temple and into his tangled hair, even as the boy slept.)

"Regulus." It was a quiet hiss, but Regulus sat up, Wand in arm, and then he was slipping out of the bed and his wand was to Severus' throat.

"What do you want?" The whisper was quiet.

"I won't hurt you. I wish to... council. With you. In private."

"Don't want anyone to overhear?" Regulus was looking for weaknesses. If Severus admitted that he, an older year, didn't want Regulus' year-mates to overhear (Don't assume they're sleeping until they're in a grave) then Severus would be lost. Severus smirked in answer - yes, they knew each other better than suspected, and yes, they were not-yet-friends, but Slytherin was Slytherin.

"There are... rumors... that our _esteemed headmaster_ has placed charms to record conversations in certain places."

Regulus' lips thinned, but he stowed away his wand, and gestured for Severus to go first. If there was an ambush, let the older boy fall into the trap. (This was how he treating not-quite-friends. Blacks didn't have enemies, they had new corpses to bury).

There was no ambush, not even when Severus entered an empty classroom - empty save the two chairs facing each other across a table with a platter of fruits. Both boys sat. Neither ate.

"Why am I here?" Regulus' voice was just a _touch_ petulant, but his raised eyebrow and sneer showed that, like everything he did, it was theatre. He was showing annoyance and telling Severus to 'get on with it', not admitting his impatience. He and Sirius had that in common - they had a certain gravity that meant they could get attention whenever they wanted. A certain flourish ad expression.

"I had an epiphany." Severus' voice was sardonic. Regulus snorted, his lips twitching. Yes, he knew Regulus. Far too well, it seamed.

"Sirius Black and Andromeda Black look happier than Bellatrix, who looks insane, and Narcissa, who, for all her love for Lucius, looks scared."

Regulus was still, his eyes wide. All the Theatre was gone.

"If you're suggesting I switch to the _Light_ , you're an idiot - a dead idiot."

"Please. If I wanted you to switch to the Light, I'd ask for Madam Pomphrey to check my mind for charms. No, the Light will loose. It can't kill."

"So...?" But Regulus leaned back, feat up on the table, arms crossed, smirking. The Theatre was gone - Severus wasn't recruiting for the Light, so clearly the Apocalypse had been averted. Severus examined Regulus' position - it could have been Sirius' pose, but there was a certain shadow in his eyes. A certain predatory edge to his movements, no matter how theatrical they were. That's what the Blacks were, wasn't it? A mixture of paranoia, darkness, despair, and theatre. Sirius just happened to get more for the theatre, and Regulus more of the paranoia and darkness. Just like Bellatrix had all of them, and Narcissa had the last two. And Andromeda, like Bella, had all of them... just less of it.

"I am Grey. I have nothing against Dark Magic - as a matter of fact, if your powers of observation were up to scratch, you'd know that I quite enjoy Dark magic. But honestly, if the mud bloods all die, who will run the little shops in Diagon? Who will sell candy? Run the Knight bus, the Hogwarts Express? Do _you_ want to be a secretary? We don't have to marry them, but they have their uses. Just like without Goblins, we'd have no gold, no Gringotts, and no economy. Yes, Purebloods are better. But the Dark Lord clearly doesn't realize that our society needs the lower caste."

"I haven't heard of the Grey Side of the war... yet." Severus laughed darkly at Regulus' admission of interest. Of _course_ Regulus was interested - he wasn't a fool. It was _obvious_ that Lord Voldemort had no idea how to run a society, even if he knew how to fight a war. And, quite frankly, it was obvious that members of the Black Family who _didn't_ support the Dark Lord were happier than those who supported the Lord. No - the triumph wasn't turning Regulus against the Lord, it was getting Regulus to admit his turning.

"I made a speech, didn't I? About a party, about not going to Hogsmeade on this weekend. And we'll see who leaves the village alive. But Regulus... I wished to speak to you about something specific. You are better at dueling than fighting. You are better at enchantments than rituals, you prefer being precise and doing delicate work... so you can help us without drawing your name in. In fact, why don't you and - a friend - work on a specific project, at a certain time, so that neither of you know who the other is?"

"Sounds more interesting than schoolwork... Your mind was always more interesting than my brother's. What is this project?"

Regulus was captivated, his eyes gleaming. Fights and wars were... boring. He wished for intellectual stimulation. Something challenging, that he could work on. Severus always knew how to provide these projects... and besides, Severus' side made more sense than the Dark Lord's. And with magic, if you use it correctly... it doesn't really matter how many are on your side, does it?

"Challenge: Destroy Inferni." Regulus paled, gaping at the impossibility of the challenge, but Severus went ahead, not waiting for a reaction.

"Requirements: Cannot hurt living people. Things I've thought of: the only fire spell that destroys Inferni permanently is Fiendfyre. In Hogwarts, only one person deigns to use Fiendfyre, and uses it properly. You. So, there are stasis spells - maybe have -"

"Yes! Oh, finally, something to _think_ about - Sev, you're forgiven for waking me up. Let's see - glass - glass jars, en-runed, we'll need arithmancy, inside the jar there's Fiendfyre, and the glass melts in contact with inferni - Ooh, I've got a better idea. Instead of making loads of glass jars, we'll make _floating glass balls!_ They'll be attracted to large magical forcefields, so everyone will think, "oh, pretty jars floating around Hogwarts/Hogsmeade/Godric's Hollow/Platform 9 3/4," that sort of thing. But, they float around, and are attracted to inferni - the lack of heat but significant amount of magic necromantic energy will attract them, and the fire spreads, and because fiendfyre can't die, the fire spreads, eats the inferni, and goes back into the jar, I mean, the ball, and then it keeps floating, and -"

"Regulus, let's go to sleep. You can solve this problem tomorrow afternoon, working with L - a _friend_ of mine."

"Not the Mudblood."

"No. Not her." Sev quietly decided that at one point, Regulus was going to _stop calling Lily a M_ _udblood_.

* * *

During Charms, Lily turned towards her boyfriend.

"Severus Snape, I saw what you did last night."

"Hhm. Did you enjoy the view?" Severus' voice was flat, as if asking about the weather, and Lily hid a smile as she slapped his shoulder.

"Don't be snarky! Who will set up the little Black with? How? What's the idea? I see your memories, not your thoughts!"

"Ms. Evans, Mr. Snape, five points from each of your for talking during class! Work on your banishing charms!"

"Yes Professor Flitwick." The two teenage voices sounded identically dull, saying perfunctory words before they kept whispering.

"I'll take Lupin to an empty classroom by the Ravenclaw Tower. I'd do a classroom near the Library-" Severus began, only to be interrupted by Lily.

"But there _aren't_ any empty classroom near the libraries; they're taken over by studying students. I know."

"And this way, Regulus will think that it's a 'claw. There's a classroom there that has two doors. They're on the same wall, but one's on the Left and the other's on the Right. In the middle of the classroom, I'll erect a shield. On the other side, there'll be a blur, even though Lupin and Regulus will hear each other's voices. They won't be able to cross the shield, but they can pass things back and forth. In the middle of the classroom there'll be a desk, so they can work and pass the object through the shield. What do you think?"

"I'll get Lupin there at 5:30, and Regulus should be there at 5:40 - that way, they won't see the other come in. I'll get Lupin to get all his notes on enchanting."

"Ms. EVANS!"

"Sorry, Professor Flitwick!"

* * *

Regulus nodded to himself in the classroom. The person he was working with was a genius... although he was defiantly steeped in Light magic. Well, one couldn't have everything, even though working on this _was_ interesting. This person was good for bouncing ideas off of, as his mind worked so _differently - so Lightly_. Then the person said something else, and Regulus decided that the guy was a) a Genius, and b) he was claiming him. No one else understood the joys of enchanting, so, clearly, they were meant to be. He'd figure out who he was working with, and making it known that this guy belonged to _him, Regulus Black_ , and _only him_. After all, Regulus reasoned, someone interesting to talk to was hard to talk to.

* * *

Remus nodded to himself in the classroom. When Lily approached him about a project, he had agreed immediately. The party-planning was going well, and James and Sirius were plunging full-on into it, their natural energy bolstered by Peter and Andromeda and Ted and 'Phil' Lovegood. They didn't need him. And really, he didn't like pranking much. He enjoyed research, and making spells and figuring out ways to use those spells, but this was a party. Not his thing. At all.

But the guy he was working with... Well, apart from the propensity to Dark Magic, and the casual way he spoke of murder, he was quite like Sirius. There was a certain theatre to the voice, a certain way he spoke, as if making a speech. And his tunnel intensity - Sirius had been like that, all focused, when they worked on their animagus forms. Except... this person was slightly more controlled, slightly more calm, and his theatre was less wild than Sirius'.

His voice was smother.

Softer.

And he was _very_ smart. _Very very smart, and his voice... and look at that handwriting, his fingers must be long and delicate to write like that..._

 _Crap._

 _We're in the middle of a WAR, this is NO TIME FOR A CRUSH! GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, REMUS!_

* * *

Narcissa shivered. It was morning, the Hogsmeade weekend, and Lucius was about to leave with her sister... while she was about to go to a party hosted by Mudbloods.

She had a feeling that this was last time she'd see Lucius alive. And she'd learned to trust her feelings, especially when it came to those she loved. Right before Sirius stepped off of the Hogwarts express the first time, in his first year, right before he got Sorted, she knew that's the last time she'd be allowed to see him as family. He got sorted into Gryffindor. (She still saw him as family, even though she wasn't permitted to). One day, she knew Andromeda would be exiled, and not two hours later, she caught her sister kissing a Mudblood. She knew something would happen to her father. He was dead a week later.

A few days ago, she looked at Severus, and she felt about him the exact same way she felt about the Dark Lord when he first swept into their house.

 _Here was a King,_ She had thought. Severus had been desperate about something, it was right after his OWLS... she wondered why he was desperate. Usually, after being cornered by the Marauders, he was angry and embarrassed. That day, he was desperate. And then he disappeared for a bit. And after that, she felt, with absolute certainty, that he was a player, not a pawn, and that he would affect her family. He was powerful. He was less... she didn't know. But he was more stabilized. More focused.

When she met the Dark Lord, she felt fear. He would swallow her older sister first ( _Bellatrix!_ her mind cried), and then the man she loved ( _Lucius!_ her heart wept), and he would swallow her youngest cousin ( _Regulus!_ fear thudded through her bones), and he would throw out her other cousin ( _Sirius!_ Her breath caught in her throat) and her other sister ( _Andromeda!_ shock stilled her lungs), make a chasm between the families.

She felt sudden fear for her future son. (Apparently she was to have a son in the future. That was... interesting. Magic certainly had a way of dropping bombshells on her.)

And yet... Severus felt different. He didn't feel like he wanted to swallow anyone. He felt like a general, and when he looked at her, she knew, suddenly, that Lucius Malfoy, the one she loved, was a dead man and Bellatrix, her sister and confidant, was a dead woman. And the fact that only the two of them had Dark Marks didn't escape her.

She wanted her family to live.

And the Dark Lord didn't care who he sacrificed... he didn't have friends. But Severus Snape did. As much as he hid it, he liked that Mudblood, so he could make friends, care about others, as well.

Usually, Narcissa accepted these 'heads up' from her magic and went forward with her life. This was the first time that her magic was informing her of an upcoming violent death, telling her to accept it, and telling her to trust the man who'd orchestrate the deaths. Her magic was telling her to leave her sister and Lucius, and make sure her little cousin followed that man, and for Merlin's sake, make friends at the upcoming party.

If there was anything Narcissa trusted, it was her magic.

So she went to Regulus that night, while Severus was making a speech about Hogsmeade and parties. She told Regulus to agree with Severus, to go along with him, because she didn't know who would win, the Dark Lord or her fellow Slytherin. But if the Dark Lord won, her family would die or be branded like cattle. If Severus won... it'd be better. She hoped.

Lucius was talking, explaining how people could come to either him or to Bellatrix with information, and Narcissa's heart beat faster just by looking at him. His strong posture - the confidence - the way he assumed he was king, the way he was king, the intensity... (there was more... ah... carnal thoughts there as well - look at the slope of his jawline and his legs, those strong shoulders and long fingers and those eyes...)

He was dead. Her magic said so.

And she was to go to the party and make some friends... make sure she had connections on the other side. As soon as Lucius' speech was over, she ran to her dormitory, curling up in bed. She couldn't sleep - she'd not sleep until she had a plan. She was Slytherin, after all...

Right.

She couldn't make friends with someone high profile. That'd be too obvious. Now, making a friend of a friend of someone high profile, that was acceptable. She could claim to be looking for information, _and_ she would have some Mudblood to vouch for her, just in case.

Someone scholarly, preferably... (She couldn't make friends with a warrior. Lucius was a warrior. Lucius was a master dueller, his magic swirling - and yes, he was technically still alive. But her magic said that he'd be dead by this time tomorrow, and Narcissa learned to trust her magic, so she was mourning him early.)

Lucius...

Narcissa fell asleep crying, and awoke, the next morning, with her cheeks wet with tears.

* * *

Severus tensed, looking at Lily.

"Shit."

"Ah...? Sev, it isn't customary to curse at a date with your girlfriend, even if we're about to have a fight. What, did you just notice the unusual number of adults that know how to fight and are good at fighting that just happen to be here? Clearly, someone knew and spilled to the Light Side."

"That's not it. When I drink the Polyjuice, I'll still be wearing my own clothes. It'll be obvious it's not you."

"Yes. I thought of that. Why do you think I put on a shirt over my T-Shirt? Why do you think I wore a _very_ baggy pair of jeans - something you would wear, and told you to wear some jeans as well? Those'll be baggy when you turn into me, even though you put on a short pair."

Sev paused, blinking at Lily.

"At least one of us know how to think."

"Yes, thank you for the compliment. Now... it's nearing 10:30, which means that the party should be in full swing by now... I'll go to the bathroom, take off my over-shirt, and give it to you. Set up a Notice-Me-Not charm, Polyjuice yourself, go to the girl's bathroom, and put on my shirt when we hear lots of Apparition sounds."

"Brilliant. Can I have some of your hair?" Severus pulled out a thermos containing the dark, mud colored potion. Lily pulled out a single hair from the root and dropped it in, making the potion turn a sort of dark blue, the sort at the bottom of a fire. The hottest part.

"Why so much potion?"

"It runs out in an hour. I'll attach this to my belt, and when it starts fizzing off, I'll drink some more... if the battle isn't over by then."

"Smart. Ah - Here!" Lily pushed the shirt toward the Slytherin boy, quickly casting the Notice-Me-Not at him and pushing Severus towards the girl's bathroom, before jogging out of The Three Broomsticks.

There were so _many_ of them. Black robes, white bone masks... Lily snarled, and threw a simple _Expelliarmus_ at one of them. Even as his wand flew towards her, the man was thrown backwards and into the air, where he did a strange backflip and landed on his head and neck. There was a _crack_.

Four of the Death Eaters turned toward her. Lily raised her wand, trembling - and then her double walked out of The Three Broomsticks, aimed her - his? - wand at the four bandits, and hissed a single word.

 _Bombarda._

There was a mass of limbs and robes and blood.

Nothing more.

Lily swallowed her bile, nodded at herself (wasn't that weird), and turned to aim her wand elsewhere.

* * *

At the party, Narcissa shuddered.

Oh, the party was going very well. The lake had been magically frozen over, and the ice skates were charmed to be comfortable. Skating was something she had never done before, but she loved it. The Merry-Go-Round (what a wondrous invention! She'd never seen anything like it!) was a bit childish, but rather fun. She'd played chess and checkers, and a bit of Monopoly (also something new), along with quite a lot of different card games (Some of which she had actually played before). There were plenty of new foods ('pizza' was amazing, and 'guacamole' was to die for). There was a separate field with floating lights and plenty of classical music, where students put on masks and danced with someone. They didn't know who. There were _hundreds_ of masks offered, all of them beautiful.

Narcissa shuddered because her magic informed her that Bellatrix was dead. And that Lucius would be soon, as well.

Narcissa leaned against a tree, sipping punch (what a novel drink!) and planning her next action. She was a sixth year. If she came home, it would be expected for her to take the Dark Mark. After all, her family was devoted. On the other hand, if she didn't come home, it would be accepted - she would be classified as 'a young woman in mourning', off and traveling, grieving for the summer - something that was more or less expected, really. And then, she had an entire year to plan things, until she graduated.

So all she needed was a place to stay. (In other words, a boy to seduce).

She wanted a scholar. Not a fighter. Not someone too principled. If her target and her ended up marrying, she wanted someone to come home at the end of the day. (Lucius was principled and a fighter and a general and he was _dead_.)

But it had to be a 'high standing' scholar - and in this time, during war, fighters were prized far more. As far as Narcissa knew, there was exactly one boy who was a) a scholar, b) a coward, c) not already taken, d) in fairly high standing, and e) someone _just_ gullible enough to invite her over the summer.

Peter Pettigrew.

Currently winning at Chess against Remus Lupin. (Lupin _would_ have been the option, but he _was_ principled, and _was_ a fighter, and her instinct told her that the man would be connected to her family in other ways [Regulus?]).

Narcissa waited for Peter to win before beaming at him and asking to play against the winner. (Really, if he didn't slouch, he'd be _so_ much taller, and yes, he had a _bit_ of fat, but that was _easily_ remedied. After all, scholar or not, this was a time of war, and she'd be seventeen soon. She'd set up wards at his house and they'd duel every day. She didn't want him to be an Auror - but when someone would come to their house, he'd need to know how to fight.)

It took thirty seconds to strike up a conversation.

Another five minutes to hint that she didn't love Lucius.

Peter was curious - a beautiful, smart, older girl was interested. And desperate. A damsel in distress. (Narcissa was a good actress).

It took fifteen minutes for Peter to ask her if she was being _forced into_ taking the mark, and another few seconds for Narcissa's perfect tear to say 'yes'. A few more minutes, and Peter told her that she was welcome to his house over the summer.

Bingo! (A new muggle expression. She'd played the game at this party, it was a bit boring, Connect-4 being _so_ much more interesting).

She'd smiled, and promised to put up wards, as she would be over seventeen. After she put up wards, he could do magic outside of school, as long as they were within the wards.

A few more hints, and Peter promised that they'd practice dueling, and even promised to sign them both up for some muggle martial arts. She had no clue what it was, but just muttered that she didn't want to die - so Peter said they'd get these 'arts' daily.

Whatever the boy wanted. After all, she was staying at his house. Unconsciously, a self-satisfied smile tugged at her lips. A smile Regulus noticed.

Regulus Black noticed a lot more than just a smile. He noticed Narcissa's slight seer-like magic when he was seven. He noticed her devotion to Family. He noticed Narcissa ordering him to listen to Severus Snape (it was hard not to). And he noticed Narcissa's clear abandonment of the Dark Lord. Honestly, he wasn't an idiot - 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 4.

So Regulus danced with a few Mudbloods. He skated with some Hufflepuffs. He played checkers with a few half-bloods. And he made friends - he was good at theatre, after all. But if this was war, then he'd need someone to vouch for him. And... he _had_ someone to vouch for him.

Regulus Black slid over to his brother, who was currently entertaining some coy curvaceous 'claw.

"Sirius," the Slytherin interrupted the Gryffindor's lewd praises of the girl, "I propose you kiss that girl you're clearly head over heals in love with, and then we go play chess."

Theater. Regulus didn't want Chess, he wanted to talk, and he called Sirius by his name - and his brother noticed that. But it was Theater, not just innuendoes - the slightly too-loud voice, the smirk, the mocking tone, invited all the by-standers for a laugh, and Sirius kept the act going.

"Alas! Brother mine, you reveal the feelings of my heart!" Over gesticulation, Sirius' arms flew. Regulus snorted and rolled his eyes in response.

"This is, what, your fifth girl of the week?" The teasing tone invited another laugh, and Sirius gaped in 'shock'.

"Of course not! Merely my third -" Sirius paused - "Of the hour!" The brothers finished together, leaving a Hufflepuff girl to drop her arm over the coy 'Claw and lead her away, kissing her cheek and clearly making plans for 'later'.

Regulus and Sirius wandered off, and Sirius dropped the act, drawing his wand and narrowing his eyes at his brother.

"What'd you want?"

"They want me to be a Death Eater."

"What?"

"Our _beloved_ parents - and uncles and aunts as well - want both Narcissa and I to become Death Eaters. As you noticed, Andromeda already did a runner with her -" Saying Mudblood wouldn't help matters

"With her Hufflepuff. So they want both Cissa and I to become Death Eaters. Narcissa is turning seventeen soon - she'll run away, make some friends, and besides, she knows what she's doing. I'm a fourth year, I don't want to kill, I want to pass my end of the year exams, and you're my ticket out of the Death Eater shit."

There was a long moment silence while Sirius stared.

"Why should I trust you?"

"I have no _fucking_ clue. But warning: I'm not fighting on either side of the war. If I get a Dark Mark, I'll study, if I get a - a Light Mark? I'll study either way. I'm for learning, and that's it. I can make a Wizard's Oath." Regulus was slightly disgusted with himself - he'd overdone the anger, the annoyance, though the desperation at the end - I can make a Wizard's Oath - balanced it out. Theater came more naturally to Sirius.

This silence was more profound.

"Welcome back."

The hug wasn't theatre. Neither was Regulus' crying. And getting James to invite Regulus was easy, as well - after all, Sirius was already planning to live with the Potters, and one more boy wasn't too much trouble, James said. (Regulus assumed he was invited because he was crying.)

* * *

Lucius did nothing. This was _not_ how he imagined being a Death Eater. He didn't - killing people wasn't - the _blood_ \- oh, Merlin - dark.

A Jelly-Legs jinx hit Lucius Malfoy. He was dead before he hit the ground, but he knew who shot him down - the Evans Mudblood, with a sneer worthy of Severus himself.

Severus, on the other hand, had _no clue_ who he just shot down. Some Death Eater in robes and with a mask. It didn't matter. You had to kill to accept the mark. He'd killed a murderer. Severus ducked under some curse and shot a simple a simple _accio_ at the man. It'd hit his chest.

He was dead.

Having your heart try to force itself through your ribcage did that to you.

The casualties mounted, but the battle was clearly ending - the Eaters didn't expect such resistance, and when every spell was deadly... and _incarcerous_ summoned ropes that were just too tight, and such... well, most of these Eaters were novices, sent to scare the little kids out during Hogsmeade. They didn't sound on the Order. They didn't count on dying. (No one counted on dying).

Severus Snape shuddered, even as he knew the battle wouldn't last another five minutes. Anyone would shudder, hearing a scream. The voice screamed again, and Severus paled.

That was Lily's voice.

He ran in her direction.


	3. Chapter 3

James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus wandered off to a corner.

"Lily isn't here." James grouched.

"She'll be here for the next party," Sirius consoled, "But now we've more important things to talk about."

"Ah, yes. Sirius and his brother, Regulus, are staying over at my house for the summer. And until they're adult." James explained.

"Isn't Regulus a Death Eater in training?" Remus raised an eyebrow.

"No. He came over to me and told me he wanted out. So he's getting out." Sirius explained quietly. He had no idea how to feel about his brother - the boy was Slytherin, and hung out with Death Eaters, and joined in on _hunts_. Then again, he was family, and he claimed to want out. And quite frankly, it was hard to be angry when little fourteen-year-old Regulus looked at him with big grey eyes and quivering lips, even if Sirius knew it was Theater.

"Narcissa is staying over my house this summer." Peter stated brightly, smiling. There was a moment of silence, and then James broke it.

"Narcissa _Black_? To be _Malfoy_? Ha! Good one, Peter, pull another one."

"No, it was real! She said she doesn't want the Mark, she doesn't like Lucius, and she needed to get away! And her parents won't look for her in a muggle neighborhood! So she'll live with me, and put up wards so we can do underage magic, and we'll both do Martial arts daily!"

"You're kidding. My _cousin?_ Bellatrix' _sister_?" Sirius' incredulity was easy to see.

"Andromeda is Bellatrix's sister as well. Admittedly, a Ravenclaw sister, but... Well, according to the Yanks, isn't it innocent until proven guilty?" James knitted his brows. It wasn't hard to believe that Regulus wanted out - as far as he could see, Regulus lived in the Library, and just wanted a bit of peace and quiet. But Narcissa? Why would Narcissa want out? The sound of Remus choking suddenly broke James' train of thought.

" _That's_ what you were talking about during chess?!" Moony gaped at Wormtail.

"You played _chess_ with her?"

"You invited her over to your house!"

"Guys! Wormtail's in _love_!"

"Ooh!"

Narcissa rolled her eyes from behind her disillusionment charm. _Boys_.

* * *

"Lily," Severus choked out, dropping to his knees. Lily was splayed out on the ground, eyes at half-mast and a thin trickle of blood dripping from her temple, making her hair ruby instead of fire-colored.

Her left knee was in a twisted position, leaving her bottom left leg splayed out. The Polyjuice potion fizzed out, leaving Severus' black hair hanging over his eyes. He angrily brushed it away, pointing his wand at Lily's slashed abdomen and whispering the healing spell. He knew exactly two: Episkey, something that worked for cartilage (such as ears and noses), and the long, complex chant required for Sectumseptra. This is what he was doing now.

The bastardized Latin - with hints of Greak and Celtic thrown in - slipped easily from his tongue, even as Lily's eyes fluttered and her breaths slowed. Even as her muscles relaxed, even as her head lolled, as Severus' voice grew frantic and tears slipped from his eyes.

Her flesh knitted together.

Lily's breaths slowed.

 _No._

Severus lifted Lily's head, fishing out a blood-replenishing potion and making her drink it. A moment passed, two... but no color returned to her pale face.

Severus snarled. He had made his choice long, long ago - Lily was everything. For her, he would burn the world. For her, he would burn himself, he would make himself bleed if only to see her smile.

And you don't look back on a choice like that.

Turning and grabbing another fallen body, he yanked it closer to Lily. Yes, whoever this was, whoever he had grabbed, was still alive... excellent. Grabbing his potions knife, Severus Snape stabbed the Death Eater's heart and began to call Lily back from the limbo she was in. One could not call back the dead. One could _certainly_ detain the dying - CPR and magic such as this was an example.

Lily was dying.

Severus _twisted, changing_ \- and everything went white.

He was on a scale. On one side was Lily, on the other was the Death Eater whose heart he'd stabbed. There was the delicious feeling of power, of danger, rushing through him.

A six year old girl - _Magic_ _?_ \- stood in front of him, floating on nothing - everything was white.

"You want the girl to be okay?" The six year old bit her lip.

"Yes." Severus' eyes grew cold. Lily would be _healthy, fine, alive_ \- even if it's the last thing he did.

"S'not your choice." The girl said frowning, sounding reproachful, as if _he_ were the six year old. Severus remained still. He knew how this worked - even if dark magic was different for everyone, he _had_ done rituals before. Currently, _he_ was on the scale, _he_ could tip the balance - the world was in _his_ hands. What a heady tonic.

"I could make her be okay. But I'm hungry. The guy you killed - well, he would-a died _anyway._ " The girl was pouting. At this, Severus smiled. Those like Dumbledore would see magic as someone old and wise and ultimately good, because that's what they wanted to see. Severus saw Magic as a pouting six-year-old, run on emotion and temper tantrums, slightly spoiled, but easily bribed. And _powerful_. A child-queen.

"I'll kill more." Severus offered with a raised eyebrow.

"You know, this's-a full ritual. When you did the baby-ritual with the girl, when you showed her your mem'ries, n'stuff, an you got her mem'ries, you spilled a bit'a your blood. An that means that you gotta spill other's blood until I decide you've spilled enough. So yeah, you're gonna kill anyway. An now, you're doin' a full ritual, an you wan her to be okay, so what'r'you gonna give me?" The six year old's eyes glimmered.

Lily _had_ to be well.

"What would you like?"

The girl smirked. Severus promptly began to hate the fact that he imagined Magic to be sadistic.

"You know the mean boy? The one who's all rich an mean an s'got the friends an the wolf an -"

"James Potter." Severus' voice turned raspy. Magic _always_ took its price.

"Yeah, him! He's got to get-a chance with, with, your girl, whas her name 'gain-"

"Lily. The price of Lily's life is that she needs to get to choose between James Potter and I. She gets to date and kiss him, and if she likes him better... then, what? I have to let him have her? I'm not allowed to fight?"

"Yeah! I've made you a murderer already, cause you gave your flower-girl, Lily, your mem'ries, an vice-versa, so now I've got to give Lily another life for a moment, so it's fair. Cause - cause - in another world, that's how it is. So I've got to twist it to be like that, for at least a bit, alright? At least Lily's gonna see this... and know that a) she's gotta choice, and b) you did dark magic! See you later, alligator!"

Then Severus was, again, on the streets of Hogsmeade, watching as Lily's eyes fluttered, as she gasped and her chest moved up, down, rose and fell, as her mouth opened and she blinked, the new memory flashing through her mind as her eyes widened.

"S-Sev?"

Severus kissed her forehead, gently, very gently, because _what if he wasn't good enough and Lily left and what if he hadn't done enough, how would he ever know if he's enough_ \- he kissed her forehead, and whispered a So _mnium_ , and as Lily fell asleep, Severus lifted her into his arms and walked away from the carnage.

Behind him, a Death Eater was dead with Severus' potions knife in his chest.

* * *

Dumbledore frowned as he listened to Fabian Prewett. Fabian's twin, Gideon, was in the office as well, coo-ing and smiling at Fawkes. Their sister, Molly Weasley nee Prewett, was there as well, twirling her wand idly as she leaned against a shell. Each of them were a notable fighter in their own right. Together, the three of them were a terrifying team, taking down Death Eaters and 'fighting, flickering like fire', as budding journalist Rita Skeeter had described the red-haired trio.

"... dead. Each and _every_ spell we cast was like an Avada, and the battle was finished so much _quicker -_ usually, we fight for a long time, and we capture a few Death Eaters, and civilians are massacred, and a few of ours are killed. This time?" Fabian paused for breath, and his sister picked up the rolling ball.

"No Death Eater _ever_ got up again - we lost a few, but _all_ of them died, and only a few of the civilians were even hurt, because the Death Eaters were occupied with us! And - it was _easy_. I don't have to worry about Yaxley getting up after I shot him down - I don't have to think about him ever again. Look at the numbers, Dumbledore!" Molly paused, passing the ball to Gideon.

"Out of the twenty-one Order members that made it here, only two died. Two. That's... wonderful. And _every single Death Eater died_. Oh, boo-hoo, think of the Children - Well, let me tell you, some of those you call children are _marked_. And that makes them _enemies_. Dumbledore, I'm telling you here and now: I'm not using the Crucio, or the Imperio, or ritual magic, or anything of the sort, but I will _kill anyone who aims at my family_. And right now, that's _any_ Death Eater."

Dumbledore sighed sadly. Yes, it was unprecedented that so few Order members survived - usually, at least a third of the fighters went home in shrouds. But he didn't expect the dark magic Severus and Lily used would spread that quickly. When he learned that Severus and Lily were doing a ritual, giving each other their memories, he knew, right away, that magic would demand terrible things of the children. But to think that the darkness would spread, would infect others, would start to convince the Prewetts to kill...

"I'm sorry I cannot convince you otherwise, my children. But consider... if we kill as they do, how are we better than them? What sort of world are we fighting for?"

* * *

When Severus ran down the halls of Hogwarts, holding Lily Evans in his arm, he had to run past the party - Or rather, the remains of the Party. At this point, Peter and Narcissa were off in an empty classroom somewhere, discussing how to convince Peter's parents to allow them to stay at his house and the differences between the Muggle and Wizarding world.

Regulus had slipped away, working on his impossible project. Remus had done the same, neither aware that the other boy was the one they had worked with near the Ravenclaw tower.

The rest of the students had trickled out, quickly filling out the survey as they left, and the Teachers had already helped collapse the Merry-Go-Round and put away all the games and such. At this point, only James and Sirius were outside, looking at the Surveys and toasting to the success with the last bottles of Butterbeer. It was pure bad luck that Severus barreled past them with Lily on his way to the hospital wing, pure bad luck that they hadn't already left, that the party was on the way to Hogsmeade, not on the 'backyard' of Hogwarts.

When Severus ran past the boys, they stood and followed without a thought.

"What - is the Lily? Where are you taking her?" James threw himself forward, standing in Severus' path.

"She's _hurt!_ I need to get her to the Hospital Wing - help get the students out of my way, you prat!" Severus snapped as his skid to a stop. James paused for half a second, trying to figure out how to proceed - and Sirius acted. Standing straight, he gave a loud whistle, and the gathering crowd froze, the sound dropping as people stopped talking.

"Lily Evans has been injured. We're bringing her to the Hospital Wing. Scat!" The crowd parted like the Red Sea, and the three boys moved forward. Up stairs, down the hallways, skidding to stops and making sharp turns - James Potter threw open the doors to the Hospital Wing and screamed for Madam Pomphrey, who came, bustling, in.

"Oh, the poor girl, lay her down there - blood loss, cracked sixth left rib - six and seventh, and the right sixth as well... hhm... You three, scat! You can come back in an hour at least, when she's feeling better!" Shooing Severus, James and Sirius out, the matron went back to her diagnostic charms, healing spells and potions. As soon as the doors to the hospital wing closed, James rounded on Severus, drawing his wand.

"What did you do to Lily?" James' voice was a low growl, and Sirius tensed, drawing his wand as well.

"I... Hogsmeade was attacked. The... the Death Eaters..." Severus' voice trailed off. His knees weakened, and he sank to the floor. _Lily was hurt. Under my watch, because of me, she was hurt, because I didn't pay attention-wasn't careful-wasn't good enough -_

"Ah... Snape? Are, um, are you alright?" James shifted awkwardly on his feet, hesitantly kneeling in front of Severus. _And there I go, showing weakness in front of Potter of all people!_

"Fine! I'm fine, I'm fine. Just -" _It's just that it's my fault. And it's just that I really want to kill something. My blood is singing, and my head is pounding, and all those Death Eaters at Hogsmeade died, but it's not enough, I really really really want to kill something. And it's my fault Lily got hurt. And fuck, I can feel - everything - the magic around me is beautiful, and I'm powerful, and I can just storm into wherever the bastards are hiding and kill them all -_

Fuck, he had to _move!_

Severus pulled himself up, James standing up as well.

On some level, Severus was aware what was happening - magic was demanding the price for the first ritual via killing, and the third ritual via making himself scarce so Lily could have alone time with James. And the price of the second ritual, the one Lupin did... he didn't want to know what magic would demand of Lupin.

But currently, he felt like he was flying, his blood was singing and pounding in his ears, and he wanted to kill.

"Take care of Lily. I've - I have to - excuse me." Severus pushed past James, running quickly, as if he hadn't just carried another human being. Magic urged him on, quickly, too quickly, and he couldn't resist, didn't want to resist.

The wind ran through his hair, another knife (this one for chopping - the other knife, the one he stabbed the Death Eater with, was for slicing) in his left hand and his want in his right. He looked a little bit insane.

 _He needed to kill something_.

Throwing open the Library doors, Severus ran to Regulus, who was (again!) surrounded by books.

"Regulus - I want to clear out your house."

"Come back when you make sense. Lupin and I are working on a most _fascinating_ project - did you really think I wouldn't figure out who you set me up with?"

"Right, yes, destroying inferni - enjoy yourselves. Regulus, your house is protected, and there are Death Eaters staying there, so going home will be dangerous. But right now, the Order, the secret one that Dumbledore thinks is a secret, doesn't have a place to meet, doesn't have HeadQuarters, so if hide them behind Black Wards -"

"Severus Snape, you are running high on dark ritual magic, aren't you?"

"How - what?" Remus gaped at the two Slytherins, desperately trying to piece together what was going on.

" _Stupefy._ "

As Severus fell back into a chair, Regulus turned towards Remus grimly.

"Here is the data: Severus did some type of dark magic -"

"How do you know?" Remus' voice was shaking slightly as he tried to process what had happened. Snape runs in with a knife, demand to go kill some Death Eaters at Regulus' house, and then Regulus stuns him.

"You can tell by how sane someone looks. My cousin Bellatrix would look incredibly mad on weekends, and Severus has a little bit of the same look. Dark magic demands a price - blood, in this case, because he's holding a knife."

"Ah... So, Severus did some ritual magic and magic wants a price, so Severus wants to kill Death Eaters?" Remus asked, brows knitted. Regulus gave him an approving smile.

"Quick on the uptake. So he goes to someone who knows where they are: me, because I know where my house is and what the wards on it are like. Hypothetically, I can go into the House with Severus. Then, I change the wards so that anyone with a Dark Magic is automatically an enemy, and thus, the House traps them inside, and they can't leave until they are corpses. I'll set Severus loose inside the House, and stand disillusioned close to a fireplace, and if he gets injured, I just summon him and floo to the Hospital Wing. Problems, question, concerns?"

"Ah - you can just... floo out of Hogwarts?"

"Well, no. But I can sneak into Hogsmeade and floo out of the Hog's Head. And, technically, floo back to the Hog's Head and sneak into Hogwarts..."

Remus frowned. Slowly.

"I... I don't like the idea of child-soldiers." Remus' voice might have been hesitant, but his back was straight, and his eyes were narrowed. In return, Regulus relaxed, leaning back and smiling slightly. He'd already won, and Remus would know it with the following sentence:

"This is a controlled setting. If we forbid him, the need to kill will overcome until he goes on a spree. This will a) keep him safe, and b) makes sure all his targets are murderers."

Remus paled and swallowed, but lifted his chin.

"So when are we going?"

" _We?_ " Regulus' eyes narrowed, and he put his feet up on the table, crossing his arms. He was the one in charge, and he knew it - this was Theatre, the showing and explaining and convincing and Drama.

"No plan survives contact with the enemy. You'll have - how many Death Eaters? Verses Snape, alone? NOT a good idea. In fact, I think it's better to take more students than just the three of us - everyone knows how to Floo."

" _You're_ not coming; the house is warded against Were-wolves, but-" Regulus paused when he saw how Remus froze, stiffening.

"How'd you know?" Remus was wide-eyed, terrified, shrinking into himself. Regulus pursed his lips.

"This is why you're not a Ravenclaw. Honestly, if I wanted to bribe or threaten you, I would have done it by know. Same with killing you, and telling everyone. Can we move on to actually important things? If I have to take people, I'm taking Blacks. My brother, Andromeda, Narcissa - she'll be a turning point, as her ambition is keeping her Family alive. And Andromeda is _terrifying_... My brother is _very_ good at dueling. Actually, every Black is good at dueling. My mother is load, but she'll be easy to kill; she's not that good at magic-"

"I'm sorry, are you planning to kill your parents?" Remus was gaping at Regulus as if he'd never seen him before.

"Occlumency, Remus. Lock away 3/4 of your emotions, and only the ones you don't lock away remain, and those can't change. Everything about you is run by logic except when you're confronted when those particular emotions, and that can't change. I locked most of my emotions away as soon as I saw Severus come in here with a knife. I'll weep and moan and grieve after my parents are dead."

"You can't - this is _murder_ , Regulus, what-" Remus was starring at the boy he'd called friend, and thought of as... more. Regulus blinked.

"Oh, dear. You're a Gryffindor, I keep forgetting. _Stupefy_."

And then, turning his want to Severus - " _Ennervate._ Get up, you prat, and get my cousins. I'll get two of my brother. We're going hunting. Meet me at the Hog's Head with the rest of the Blacks."

* * *

" _Number 12, Grimmauld Place, Regulus' Bedroom!"_

Andromeda, Narcissa, Sirius, Regulus, and Severus stood in a large room. Severus' breathing was becoming heavy, a bead of sweat slowly trickled down his temple.

"I, Regulus Acturus Black, declare myself the new Head of House Black, and I take control of my House and Elf as such. House! Those marked with the Dark are as of now _enemies,_ traitors to the House of Black, and those by the names of Narcissa, Andromeda, Sirius are reinstated into the House under my jurisdiction. Severus Snape of the Prince line is too under my jurisdiction. We go to cleanse you! We go to war, and we call you to come to war with us!"

There was a moment of silence, and then the house began to _cackle_. Letting Severus go, the siblings followed him as he went from room to room, coming Death Eaters. Some were dead already, killed by the house - tapestries strangled people, knives floated through the air, a floorboard tripped a man into an open oven where he burned alive. The house was considerably more full, had more people, than anyone was expecting. Then again, the House itself was far more bloodthirsty than anyone expected.

Severus threw Avada's around with abandon. Andromeda, having wonderful aim, threw _Diffindo_ s to the throat. Sirius, giggling maniacally, tossed strange spells and charms, whatever suited his fancy from room to room. Narcissa, meanwhile, simply threw curses that froze the heart - the cleanest option that used the least power.

Regulus trailed behind him.

He hadn't expected it to work. He hadn't expected to be accepted as Head of House Black - only the fact that Kreecher liked him more than Orion and Walburga, his parents, made this work. Note to self: Make more allies in random places. They're useful.

He supposed he should be worried about his siblings', and his own, willingness to kill. Severus was easily explained - once the affects of the ritual wore off, he would be horrified, probably. He wasn't nearly cold-hearted enough. But the rest of the Blacks... well, none of them were genetically healthy. Intermarriage was common, but the Blacks had taken it to an extreme. Besides, they were raised with a Mafia - like attitude: If it hurts the Family, kill it. And Narcissa told them, immediately, that Voldemort couldn't care less about who he sacrificed for his own power - the sooner he and his Death Eaters were gone, the better.

And of course, because Sirius was _Gryffindor_ , Narcissa had to spin some bull about how _all their friends are in danger as long as the Death Eaters have the House_. Sirius immediately joined in.

Kreecher appeared next to Regulus as he stopped in the kitchen, stepping neatly over a corpse.

"Yes?"

"Master! Is there anything Kreecher can do?"

"No, but thank you. Actually... You see all these corpses? Can you please position them in Diagon Alley such that their marks are clearly visible? It - ah - sends a message, one could say. And when you're done, you have the weekend off. Do whatever you want."

"Thank you, Master!"

Regulus bestowed a rare smile onto his House-elf has the little servant (friend) sent the corpses to Diagon Alley. Yes, the morning would bring a surprise for the residents there.

There was the sound of retching upstairs. Regulus turned and raced up the rickety staircase, pausing at the sight of Severus throwing up, curled up in the hallway. Andromeda's shoulder was hurt, and she was pale, and Sirius was _clearly_ high on battle magic, and Narcissa's hair was out of place.

In other words: All of them were fine - Severus was emotional, and Andromeda might pass out within the hour as the pain grew from the dislocated shoulder, and Narcissa wanted to go to sleep, in Hogwarts, and forget that she had just killed a bunch of people.

"Let's floo to the Hog's Head, shall we?" Regulus was calm, composed, Head of House, and the rest of the family smiled at him. (A thought - _Don Black, the Godfather_ \- floated through his mind, but Regulus ignored it. He didn't know what it meant, anyway).

Only when Madam Pomphrey gaped at a swaying Andromeda and a wide-eyed, trembling Severus, that Regulus suddenly realized that he'd need to explain what happened. After all, he was Head of House Black...

Fuck it. He was fourteen. Explaining could wait until the morning. Regulus waved away Madam Pomphrey's questions and stumbled to the dungeons, to his bed, and fell asleep.

* * *

Lily woke up to see James Potter sitting next to her, reading aloud from the Newspaper. The sun was setting, and it sent streaks of gold through his mussed black hair, making his hazel eyes glitter more than normal.

And yes, she knew he was a toe-rag, but there were moments when she liked him - when he explained Tranfiguration to another student or showed someone how to stand up against bullies.

Those moments were few and far between, but... it felt nice to have someone read to you. Lily didn't bother interrupting James, instead going through what happened - she was fighting at Hogsmeade, and then a spell hit her and everything went black. She could see Sev stab(!) another Death Eater, she could see his conversation with magic (how weird was that?) and she remembered him carrying her to the hospital wing, before going to find Regulus in the library and getting Stupefied. Presumably, he was still knocked out, but Lily wasn't worried - Severus trusted Regulus, and Remus was there as well, and furthermore, they were in a public space.

She knew he saved her life - but to casually kill another man? That... that was... Lily felt sick as she remembered Sev's knife going into the man's heart. She didn't even know how long ago this happened; but new memories would come in whenever. Sometimes they trickled in as they were happening, but more often, she had noticed, she'd get random flashes and just know what Sev was doing at random moments, generally when she was spacing out. And right now, she was concentrating on James.

"Lily?" James' voice was worried. Ah - she must have made a noise. Lily's eyes fluttered open, and she smiled sleepily at James' look of confusion. The potions haven't fully worn off, she decided- she was calm and sleepy and didn't really want to think about anything, a sign of the sleeping potions slowly wearing off.

"Hello, Potter. What...?" Lily's voice trailed off as she yawned and stretched. She had meant to ask 'what are you doing here?', but Potter seamed to interpret it differently.

"Hogsmeade was attacked, and you were injured. Snape brought you here, then ran off." James looked uncomfortable at the fact that Snape had done something he approved off. Lily smiled slightly. James looked... well, human. Not like the arrogant boy who played pranks and hurt people, but more like the young man who squinted at homework and hugged homesick eleven year olds. Someone who... thought.

Her train of thought was interrupted as Dumbledore walked in, sweeping purposefully to Lily's bed.

"Ms. Evans, it is good to see you alive. Would either of you know where Mr. Snape and Mr. Black might be?" His tone, while grandfatherly, was worried.

"Ah - no, I'm afraid not, Professor." James looked startled, blinked like a dear in the headlights.

"Sorry, no, Professor. Why?" Lily sat up, trying - failing - to hold in another yawn.

"It would seem that Narcissa, Andromeda, Regulus and Sirius Black are missing, along with Severus Snape."

Lily gaped, paling, as James groaned. She flopped bonellesly back into bed, closing her eyes... _Sev, where are you?_

A slow trickle came in... Waking in the Library... Getting Andromeda and Narcissa to come with him to the Shrieking Shack... flooing to the House of the Blacks... Regulus speaking...

oh, God...

Lily fainted.

* * *

A PEAK INTO THE FUTURE! (Note: This will be at the end of every chapter... sometimes with other sneak-peaks ahead).

Lily was coming.

And he was _damned_ if he let _anyone_ hurt Lily. So he took the moment to swallow a hidden vial of pepper-up and nutrient potion... before taking a few different bottled acids into his left hand. His aim was terrible. It didn't matter - there were so many of them, that no matter where he threw, the acid would hit someone.

One more deep breath. He would _not_ die on his knees, and that one breath meant he'd die on his feat, standing, a soldier, a fighter, someone to remember, because they'd be horrified that at the thought that _all_ of them would go with him... after all, the anti-apparation wards trapped them too.

Severus hauled himself to his feat, shooting a wild, wide 'inferno' to his right and throwing random bottles of acid to his left.

And then he had a brain wave... right before a multitude of curses hit him and he went down again. Dimly, he heard Bellatrix' laughter, her madness ringing in his ears.

But. With his last moment, he transfigured the marble floor into gasoline. It sunk into their boots and the bottoms of their robes and some even leaned down to touch it with their fingers. Fools. They thought it was oily water and laughed at him.

Quietly, he whispered, just as Lestrange was yelling her 'Avada Kedavra', he whispered 'inferno' while activating the emergency portkey. Of course it wouldn't work - there was an anti-portkey ward - but if the man who put it up died before he was summoned to Lily, he'd get through.

While he was spinning, he felt his side burning and bleeding, his left leg burning, his back screaming. Then he landed, saw Lily, and everything went black.

* * *

Lily gasped, sitting upright. She had seen the curses fly around her, had fought back, when the air cleared... there was Sev, her own Sev, fighting tooth and nail against a... figure. It didn't matter. What mattered was the Sev was _loosing,_ falling... Merlin, she hated that nightmare.

Slipping on a green nightshirt, she left the bed and wandered into the kitchen, hesitating for only a moment before floo-ing to #12 Grimmauld Place. She knew Sev would be there, talking tactics... even though it was 3. He never took care of himself, honestly, that man... Merlin, keep him safe.

She didn't think to put on something more respectable than the shirt that reached to the inch above her knees and hung off one shoulder and didn't reach her elbows.

It's wasn't tight, per se, just... thin. Not see through, just thin. Her hair in a mess and with tears streaming down her cheeks, Lily stumbled into the kitchen of the Head of the Order of the Phoenix, where Severus was pouring over some tactics with James Potter - "If we station troops in the Hog's Head and in Godric's Hollow..."

"Sev?" Severus spun around to face his wife, taking off his robes and wrapping them around her before hugging the distraught woman. Lily clutched at Severus' shirt and sobbed and he picked her up and sat her on his lap on the couch.

"What happened?"

"It was... a dream, nothing - nothing Imp-important..." Lily kept crying.

"Sh, love, it's clearly important if it's got you sobbing..."

"Was a fight. We were all fighting the 'Eaters, and I was stuck - Petrificus Totalus - and I could see you fighting but I couldn't help you..."

"Sh... You've got better reflexes and your shield is too strong to be broken by a mere petrifying spell..."

"I could see you... you were fighting someone, and there was a flash of green light and you were on the ground and I couldn't reach you..."

"It's Ok, Lily, I'm alive... besides, there are Green stunners and such, it doesn't mean death right away... and honestly, Lily, I'm a _Slytherin -_ I'm cunning enough to dodge a simple spell."

And that made Lily laugh. And that meant that everything would be perfectly fine.


	4. Chapter 4

Regulus stood in front of Dumbledore's desk. Behind him, flanking him like Gaurds, where Andromeda and Sirius - Sirius to his left, Andromeda to his right, Narcissa next to Sirius, but not directly behind Regulus. Around the office stood Molly and Arthur, Fabian and Gideon, Frank and Alice and Alastor Moody. Edgar Bones, and his wife. Frank's mother, Lady Longbottom, and James' parents, Charles and Dorea Potter were in the office as well - but Dorea was both next to Charles Potter and slightly behind Andromeda. After all, she was Dorea Potter nee Black, and once a Black, always a Black.

Dumbledore pursed his lips.

"Children, are you telling me that the bodies found on Diagon Alley and Horizont Alley, as reported by the Daily Prophet... are the ones you killed?"

"Well I certainly hope so, Professor, otherwise the corpses of our work had something done to them." Regulus' drawing, uncaring voice was punctuated with a toss of his head. Dumbledore closed his eyes sadly, and the rest of the Order seamed torn between impressed and horrified.

A woman smiled, slowly. Dorea stepped away from her Husband's side, standing behind the new Head of House Black, and began to speak:

"What's done is done, Headmaster - there is no use wondering about what might have been. Now, we have a good, proper Headquarters. As we will enter each member into the wards separately, if someone tries to come in via polyjuice, they will be killed by the House. Furthermore, if someone is injured, the House is a good place to run to. It's as impenetrable as the Malfoy Manor is, and I can't imagine the Death Eaters attacking our house - just as I can't imagine us attack Malfoy Manor. Are you really going to throw away an opportunity gift wrapped and presented to you?" Dorea's voice started slow, melodious, logical, but as her speech went on, both her voice and body language grew more demanding, more prepared to lead, and yet, she always stood behind Regulus. Theater. Everything was about how others perceived you.

Dumbledore hesitated, and then nodded, agreeing to use the House. He was about to dismiss the meeting when Narcissa spoke up, looking angelic and nervous.

"We should talk about Wards. I really want to protect everyone else, and I know the Black wards..."

As Narcissa spoke, Dumbledore groaned mentally. This was going to be a long day, and by the end of it, he was certain that the Blacks would head the Order of the Phoenix. They were like that - brutal and smiling and in charge. It was annoying to be on a stage with them, because either you followed their lead or you were obliterated. The only way, ever, to survive the Blacks is if they weren't united, is if some of them were on one side and some of them were on the other. At this point, he sighed, no one had a chance: They had a Head of House, and all of them were on the same side, and they were prepared to kill and die.

On second thought, Dumbledore felt _almost_ sorry for dear Tom Riddle.

* * *

When the meeting was over, everyone went on their way. Andromeda was taken from home to home, changing wards to their deadliest setting. If anyone not specifically approved gets within five yards: Death. If a Marked Death Eater gets within ten yards: Death. There was a 'shoot on sight' order at Death Eaters, and a 'warn, then shoot if they get closer' ward to everyone else - and the Houses warned the families if anyone got close.

Andromeda was _creative_. Every ward was different, to make sure that the Death Eaters got used to the idea of ward, but not what it could be. One ward made the ground turn into gasoline, and set the Death Eaters on fire once they tripped and were covered with it. Another ward slowly turned the H2O within a body into H2O2 (Hydrogen Peroxide) as they got closer to the house. The H2O2 killed the person from the inside. A third ward simply had electricity shoot out and hit any Death Eater within range. Her favorite ward turned all the iron within a body to copper, but Bellatrix had always preferred wards that snapped bones or did someone more obvious, for example, set the nervous system on fire. Narcissa was the softest, preferring clean deaths, such as the brain turning into mush, just like that. Which was why Andromeda was warding - she was the most creative. _Architect_ , Narcissa had said once: You create, and it sounds wonderful, until they look and see you've fashioned a beautiful cage with golden bars. Deadly and Creative. Architect.

She hadn't had this much fun since her father, Cygnus, had sat both her and Bellatrix down and told them, quietly, that "Since Narcissa isn't really a fighter, you'll have to take care of her and yourselves. So this is how to make someone hurt: Shatter the kneecaps... this is how you dislocate a shoulder... remember only to pop it back in after half an hour or so, so it hurts a bit, maybe even started healing in the wrong position... Don't just break a bone, rotate it... castrate... break fingers, slowly, one at a time..."

She didn't like killing muggles, and the prejudice against muggleborns. That did not mean she was light. After all, mercenaries weren't prejudiced racists. That didn't mean they were kind. Blacks were _not_ known for Kindness. Nor for their sense of fair play, or for being _nice_.

Dorea, meanwhile, was slowly having each and every member of the Order be accepted by the House. Rubeus Hagrid should be taught muggle fighting, she thought off-handedly, since he couldn't use magic... at the moment, she just gave him a pair of gloves that had large spikes on them so that his punching would be more effective. And, in private, Dorea rummaged around in the Black attic and found a large, spiked club, which she gave to Hagrid when the Order wasn't looking. After all, Dorea reasoned, they'd most likely disapprove. Off-handedly, she wondered about the hypothetical shocked reaction of a hypothetical someone when a half-giant ran at them with a spiked club. Then, Dorea gave Hagrid a large, magic-resistant trench coat, and steal-tipped his boots. (Of course the Order would disapprove, but Dorea a) didn't care, and b) enjoyed terrifying people. Oh, she couldn't _wait_ for a Hagrid V.S. Death Eaters match...)

Narcissa was with Peter, at his home. There were, technically, a few days left at school, but she knew that soon, the Death Eater recruiters at school would start worming at Peter, trying to get him to crack. It was well known that he was the weakest marauder. He wasn't a real friend to James and Sirius, he merely hero-worshipped them, and they half-ignored him, so of course people would go after him. It was easy to do: Someone bullied him, another person saved him. Good cop, Bad cop. Peter would be too easy to crack. And Peter's betrayal couldn't happen, Narcissa couldn't let it happen, not after her instincts told her that if Peter cracked and ran to Lord Voldemort, she'd be burying Regulus. Narcissa trusted her instincts. Completely. So Peter would _damn well learn to stand up to bullies on his own_.

So after taking a day to pressure Dumbledore into saying 'yes', she apparated Peter home early, by just a few days. Narcissa warded the Pettigrew home and signed them up for Martial classes and made Peter get up every morning and duel her for two hours, straight. She would rewarded him with a kiss for a bad job, and a snog for a good job, and Peter would get better, but she'd push them both, making sure they both knew how to fight (even if she wasn't a natural at it, wasn't like Andromeda, Sirius, and Bellatrix) until magic told her that her family was safe.

(And his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Pettigrew, smiled and squealed at the pretty girl interested in their son, smiled and squealed at their son applying himself, smiled and squealed at the two of them using magic, smiled and squealed at the two children going off to learn martial arts, and neither was informed about the war that was coming for Peter and had already come for Narcissa - really, the war had come for Narcissa ever since her cousin Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor and she was told to cut contact with him).

And meanwhile, Lily and Severus argued and screamed at each other, and James offered to carry Lily's bag in the hallways, and Lily found she liked James' wit and laughter, and Severus and Lily argued, and Lily liked James' sudden, quiet moments of kindness, his nobility and charisma and chivalry, and she liked Severus' sarcasm and the way he was intense and _burning_ , but she didn't know what to think and _Severus killed people_ , and Lily and Severus argued, until Regulus had enough.

Regulus had dragged Lily and Severus into a room and prepared to give them both the biggest briefing down they'd ever receive.

"First of all, Evans, stop looking away from Severus. You're making him feel guiltier than he's already feeling, and we'll deal with guilt when this damn war is over. Second of all, you're clearly _somehow_ bonded to each other, so if either of you married or dated anyone else it'll be incredibly awkward, so get over yourselves. Third of all: Yes, Severus went on a murdering spree. But keep in mind: He had to pay in blood, and the clock kept ticking, and suddenly, he had to do it _now._ Why? As I said, you two are bonded. Rejoice, Evans: All your bloodlust had to go _somewhere_ when you were unconscious, so it went to the one you're magically closest too, travelled across the bond, and overwhelmed him. This means that you won't have the random urge to cut people open. Severus: Stop beings so overprotective of Lily, no one would dare touch her after you killed people in Hogsmeade. Now, get out, the two of you, I have to warn Remus about what's happening."

Theater. Regulus had stood in front of them, having the two teens sit down, and then he had lectured them like a stern teacher would, sharp and glaring and straight-backed. Hopefully the lecture would sink in this way... Lily walked out, shoulders straight, but she was clearly thinking about what he said. And Severus was still watching her, eyes focused on Lily's red hair and green eyes and the way she bit her lip, and...

Regulus _almost_ gagged - honestly, Severus' devotion was _sickening_. As his friend and his... acquaintance left the room, Regulus settled down and waited for Lupin to come.

Remus entered the room, smiling shyly, and Regulus ignored the smile that tugged at his lips, instead sitting down across from Remus. It was the room near the Ravenclaw common room... he didn't know if Remus would notice or not.

"You've done a ritual." Regulus spoke the words gently, letting Remus give him the details. And after a bit of fidgeting and biting his lip, Remus told the story - warding Hogsmede ( _Damn! Impressive!_ ) and getting Potter and Sirius to set up the party...

And he was trembling slightly, a faint sheen of sweat coating his brow, a slight flush settling in on his cheeks.

Ah.

No, wait - that didn't make sense. The price for doing a ritual, for doing dark magic (sacrifices? Definitely dark.) wasn't getting sick - if getting sick was the price, dark magic wouldn't be so feared, so hated. So...

"Alright, Remus, remember how I told you that rituals demand that you do something - that magic makes you do something, loose a part of yourself? Your morals, mostly, or your innocence or some such?" Regulus' voice was carefully gentle and lighthearted. He needed Remus to trust him, to spill and tell him what he was feeling. Of course, part of it was just building a network, but the other part... He honestly did want Remus to trust him, to like him back, and he'd work for it.

"I - ah..." Remus shivered, his pupils growing. He licked his lips in hesitation, and Regulus' lips thinned. He wasn't good at being nice. He _did_ want Remus to trust him, but he'd just lectured someone, and he wasn't patient enough to slowly get Remus to relax and tell him. And Remus was stuttering, hesitating, and Regulus was impatient and wanted information and didn't get enough sleep.

Regulus sighed through his nose.

Then he muttered 'legilimency' and threw himself into Remus' mind.

 _Remus was kissing him. Regulus was moaning, gasping -_

Regulus threw himself out, gaping at the boy in front of him.

"What the everlasting _hell_ was that?! Get - get out! I'm, I'm not-" His blood was pounding in his ears. He - he hadn't even thought about kissing - let alone _more_ \- and it was just _there,_ and Remus was looking at him like _that,_ and - _he wasn't_

"Gay."

"Actually, I am, but that's not the point! I'm not going to kiss someone just because some _magic_ wants them to kiss me! And I'm _definitely_ not wasting my first kiss when I'm fourteen! I don't even _want_ to kiss someone, and certainly _not_ like that, I'm not _ready,_ just leave me alone!"

He wasn't _ready._

Fuck magic rituals. Lupin could kiss someone else.

Regulus turned and ran out of the room.

* * *

Amelia Bones stood firm, even as Sirius Black stood in front of her - or rather, leaned suavely against a wall, smirking with hooded eyes. Her hair was in a bun, although curls had slipped out and were hanging around her face and neck. One day, she'd get her hair out of her face properly, without curls slipping out (although Amos Diggory certainly complemented her hair). Honestly, Narcissa had just apparated away with Peter, and yesterday there was a _very_ heated Order meeting where the Blacks had declared themselves, _and_ they were leaving after-tomorrow so he had to pack and stuff, and he _really_ didn't want to think about anything at all.

"Just one kiss, darlin'. Just one's all I'm asking." Sirius' voice was low, inviting. Plenty of girls (and some boys) had kissed him, some first being coy and hard-to-get, some starting with 'I thought you'd never ask' and ending with mouth-to-mouth.

"Mr. Black, I strongly suggest you leave me alone. I'm absolutely uninterested in anything." Amelia's voice was clipped and confident, and Sirius had _never_ had anyone resist him like that, never had anyone just lift up their chin and look at him with something he didn't understand.

"That blush of yours certainly says otherwise, Amelia dear." Except, Sirius mused, she wasn't blushing at all. And that wasn't fair. As long as she didn't leave, though, he could keep flirting.

"And if I kiss you, what would you give me?" Amelia tilted her head. "After all, I'm not attracted to you, I'd be giving away a kiss for nothing." Except, Amelia thought, she _was_ attracted to him. And that wasn't fair. As long as it didn't show, though, she could ignore it.

"Ah, but darling, I'd kiss you back... that'd blow you to the moon and back." Sirius, still smirking, frowned inside. That wasn't how it was supposed to go! She was supposed to flush and stutter, not start negotiating like it all meant nothing! He _liked_ her, for Merlin's sake.

"Not good enough. My brother, Edgar, is in the Order... and a couple of days ago, he and his friends, you and the rest of the Blacks went to Dumbledore's office. I want to know what was discussed."

Sirius tensed.

"No deal." (Then again, this was a _very_ pretty girl, a girl who was smart and determined and stood like a cliff facing the sea. A girl who didn't simper, who wasn't dainty, this girl lifted her chin to look at people, and she didn't burn like Lily, who was a forest fire, no, Amelia was large cliff, stable and strong and unmoving despite the ravaging sea around her, who would stand till the end of time, and only a few words, and he'd crack, because she was bold and brave and beautiful).

Also, her dark brown hair looked _very_ soft. He wanted to touch it.

"Sirius, You-Know-Who's after my family _anyway._ We're blood traitors, remember? My mother's dead, so I'm in this war already. Furthermore, my brother Edgar's in the Order. He'll tell me, but he has a mission, and he'll be back in August, so he'll only be able to tell me in August, and that'll be too late. I _have_ to know, _Sirius_ , _please,_ I _have_ to know, so-"

"We decided on pre-emptive strikes." Of _course_ Sirius cracked. Amelia, as said before, was a cliff. She didn't break - the sea broke against her. Sirius kept talking.

"Look, so far, battles go like this: Death Eaters show up, massacre muggles and muggle-borns, then the Order and Aurors show up, hurt a few Death Eaters, and clean up and mess. We were loosing. _Badly_. But now my cousin - 'Meda - she's warding the houses of Blood Traiters -"

"Don't be an idiot. Anyone sane has their houses warded. Even muggles have alarm systems that warn them if someone unwanted enters the house."

"Well, yes, but the wards are not deadly. S'matter of fact, most wards aren't _meant_ to be deadly, that's not the point of wards. As of now, the wards move to _kill_. And Narcissa had an idea, too: We're looking through the Book of Hogwarts, you know, the one that records the name of every incoming student - and we sneak up on their houses and ward them. Wards don't really work on muggles, you know, and the wards recognize the muggle-borns as family, and there's something tricky about the whole thing so it _eats_ Death Eaters. Or something. Basically, 'Meda, Lady Longbottom, and Weasley - not Arthur, his dad - are working on it. If the Death Eaters go to random muggle street that _happens_ to have a muggleborn living there -"

"You're laying mines. Brilliant! We should do the same to Hogwarts! Get your cousin and Lady Longbottom and the Weasley Head to come to Hogwarts over the summer, because the Hogwarts wards are _big_ , so maybe we can use them to protect Hogsmeade - Oh, this is _brilliant!_ And - and Gringotts has got some complex wards as well, maybe we could get their Curse Breakers to just put wards on Diagon and Knocturn and Horizont and Vertic and Rea and - and the Ministry, so the Death Eaters have _got_ to stay at home, and - Oh, it's _brilliant,_ thank you, Sirius, you're the first person whose told me _anything!_ "

Amelia kissed Sirius, before walking briskly past him.

Sirius blinked. Once, twice. Then he stumbled away to Regulus, because Regulus, while being his younger brother, was also Head of House Black, so he'd know what to do, and stuff, and also, Amelia Bones kissed him.

She _kissed him_.

Sirius skipped down the hall, a big, goofy smile on his face, and decided right then and there that You-Know-Who had to quickly go and die, quickly please, because honestly, you can't have a wedding during a war, so, please, would He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named hurry up and die because Sirius Black wanted to marry Amelia Bones.

 _(And Regulus had rolled his eyes, and told him straight out that cheating on someone wasn't very nice, so he a) better stop shagging every living thing, and b) start courting that girl if he loved her.) (Regulus had looked slightly shaken about something, but when Sirius asked, Regulus just muttered something about stupid magic rituals and kissing, and, well, Sirius had a pretty girl to think about so he forgot about it)._

* * *

"Ah -" Dumbledore smiled. Andromeda had been delivered back to his school earlier that day, back from warding the Order's houses (and the houses of most wizards... honestly, she was no curse-breaker, and her wards were primitive. Their main advantages were that a) They were always different, and b) they always killed. Only two days after the Order meeting when the Blacks came in and took control... he still hadn't recovered. And now he was facing Charles Potter through the fireplace, talking over the floo.

"Of course, Lord Potter, if you and your - neice? At any rate, if you, Head Weasely, Lady Longbottom and Andromeda wish to play with Hogwarts' wards, I will not stop you." Of course, Voldemort hadn't managed to attack Hogwarts yet, but this was good for morale, and if they ruined something, he was certain he could fix it. In the meantime, if they screwed up the Hogwarts wards, he'd be able to fix them. Lord, he was tired... being a headmaster, Chief Warlock, loads of other things, and Head of the Order took a lot out of you... And furthermore, Sirius Black and Regulus Black had requested a meeting after this one.

Dumbledore sighed as he remembered how this floo-call started. Dorea Potter nee Black had called him with the words " _Hello_ _Headmaster_ , _CHARLES GET OVER HERE! My husband has a proposition to discuss with you about Warding Hogwarts. My niece, Andromeda, should be back at school, and she has a new project with Dowager Longbottom and Head Weasely. Ah, hello Charles - talk to Dumbledore."_

And the next thing he knew, Lord Charles Potter stepped out of the fire-place, wand in hand, eyes sharp, back straight, a small scar peaking out of his robes and crawling up the left side of his neck. He'd have that scar forever. Andromeda swept into the room, having been called to Dumbledore's office. She gave a small curtsey, all wild hair and dancing eyes and quiet formality, quickly informing him that _"My actions here reflect only me, not the position of the Black Family."_ Dowager Longbottom walked quickly out of the Fireplace, Head Weasely stumbling after her.

Dumbledore quickly moved all the files and books and paperwork off his desk, and began to chant. A 3 dimensional, slightly translucent, pale blue scaled Hogwarts grew on his desk, quickly followed by the grounds, the mounts at Hogwart's back, the road to Hogsmeade, the Lake, the Forbidden Forest, Hagrid's hut, the Whomping Willow and Shrieking Shack, and at the edge, the platform that the Hogwarts Express stopped at.

And then the wards began to appear on the holographic Hogwarts. Lines of Latin floated around the castle, Hebrew script around the forest, Aramaic and Slavic curling around the mountains, Chinese and modern Russian and Arabic and old Celtic and a myriad of different languages offering their protection as they curled around the Holograph.

Andromeda started off:

"This is terrible. All the languages are good on their own, but they _hate_ each other and keep rubbing awkwardly against each other and leave so many chinks in the armor. See how the Hebrew and the Arabic keep fighting over the forest, and the Arabic and Aramaic at the lake, and the Latin and Celtic hate each other, see how many holes they're leaving? Plus that Russian and old Slavic keep rubbing each other weirdly because they are related but don't quite click - it's like trying to put squares and rectangles and trapezoids together. Won't work. And that weird French bit _hates_ this little English sentence, and vise versa, and that Chinese and Japanese is... well, it's a matter of time before all this dies."

And of course, Lord Potter spotted the problem. "They're all on the same plane, powered by the exactly same Lay Line. Hogwarts is on an intersection of three Lay Lines, right? And there'a a myriad of planes... see, this is what we're going to do. And everyone should pull up a chair, because this'll take a while."

An hour later, Dumbledore was gaping, trying to figure out how Hogwarts became so... deadly. Pieces of conversation filtered through his head as Charles, Dowager Longbottom, Head Weasely and Andromeda awaited his verdict:

 _"Alright, there are three Lay Lines, a, b, and c. Let's have a take care of Hogwarts itself, and the animals in it. So we know Hogwarts is alive, but it can do limited things... it's sort of... paralyzed. This is because the amount of power it can take from the Lay Line is limited. But look: If we increase the power Hogwarts can take and just import a bunch of stone and what not - or, you know, collect stone from the mountain via magic - Hogwarts can build itself. You know, make the dungeons grow into a huge labyrinth underground and such... make a hallway suddenly grow longer. Confuse people a lot in a fight. Also, like this, it can control the suits of armor, have them gravitate to areas of battle and such, whatever Hogwarts wants to do. Speaking of which, let's have more statues here. You know, marble gods, wooden nymphs and such, except all of them with spears and swords and bows and arrows and two per hallway. Furthermore, with the increased Lay Line power, Hogwarts should be able to move paintings around... so if they all suddenly appear at a certain area, that means that Hogwarts wants them to see something and report it to someone." Charles Potter was always very methodical..._

 _"Also, Hogwarts should be able to override animals' instinct and brains in general with_ that _power. Look, there's a basilisk in this dungeon-pocket thing. Increase Hogwarts' power, and it should be able to control the Basilisk so parseltongues (like You-Know-Who) can't make the Basilisk follow their orders. And during a battle, the Basilisk can be moving around Hogwarts' pipes, and then poof: Hogwarts moves a stone slightly, and the Basilisk just looks at someone, and they're dead, and the Basilisk keeps moving and the stone moves back. Ha! And - here, Hagrid has a three-headed-dog, a Cerberus, next to his Hut, and during a battle, they're dead useful... Plus, if Hogwarts controls it, then it won't hurt any students and it could be out in the open... Not to mention, owls! We have owls in the owlry, and if we have an aerial battle, then Owls will be a great advantage! Plus, the squid will also be controlled by Hogwarts, so if anything attacks through the water... and if anything is living in the forest - like those Giant Spiders, those Acrumantulas the holograph shows - then the animals will attack as well. And the Thestrals!" Andromeda was certainly creative._

 _"So, that's the intersection between the first plane and the first Lay Line taken care of. In the second plane, I say we take care of the Grounds around Hogwarts. Look: The boats that carry the first years are old and rickety... and have only basic spells on them. Let's fix this. We can have spells to make them float on water no matter what, then have them twice as big and strong with no splinters. And the front should be sharper. Lastly, we can have have two wheels attached to the boats' sides, and a spike attached horizontally on the bottom, sharp ends at the front and back. In a battle, the boats flip over and on the wheals ride forward and spike people. We'll give them the territory next to the lake..." Head Weasely paused for breath, before continuing with the same speed and interest._

 _"There are three paths on the grounds. A) the path from the Hogwarts Express platform to the Carriages and Boats, B) the road that the carriages follow to Hogwarts, and C) the pathway from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade. I say, along all three paths should be Lamp Posts, on both sides of the road, so that it's easy to see. And these_ iron _lamp-posts should have arms. Long arms, four per lamp post, and one spear per each pair of hands... during times of peace, the hands are frozen and entangled with each other OVER the road, providing a canopy that should be OVER the lamps so the roads are lit. That'll help with snow! But during a battle, imagine sudden moving iron hands with spears! That'll complete the second plane."_

 _Lady Longbottom picked up the thread:_

 _"What if Hogwarts is attacked from the back? The grounds are large. Very large. Large enough that we have a quidditch stadium and then empty space all the way to the mountains. I say we add a playground there. A LONG line of swings, a few slides, some see-saws. Swings that, ah, swing back and forth if attacked. Swing and hit people where they aren't expecting it... also, imagine little statues of - of gnomes and fairies being part of the design. Just sitting on top of the swings, and at the edges of the slides, and at the bottom of the see-saw, and all of them have slingshots and little spiked balls tipped with poison."_

They had magic and _THREE Lay Lines_ to support them. And a _LIVING STONE CASTLE._ Humans weren't very magically powerful. Most magic animals had more power than humans. But with the Earth itself and a huge stone castle, lack of magical power wasn't something that was thought about.

The four of them quickly completed everything within the hour. Other suggestions flew in. For example, the carriages were also spiked and charmed to ram into attackers, a dragon reserve was opened in the mountains because there was so much empty space and dragons protecting Hogwarts was a must and _why_ were they exporting all dragons to Romania anyway?

It didn't end there: Charles, Head of the Potter Family and owner of an obscene amount of money, donated a bunch of new brooms to replace the old, decrepit school brooms, and then the old decrepit school brooms were sharpened and charmed the glitter silver and sent to fly around Hogwarts (not inside the castle, but flying outside like a large flock of birds, looking beautiful and making new shapes as they circled the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor towers). (Also these School Brooms were sharp enough to skewer someone and were under Hogwarts' control).

They took turns tapping the Holograph, making each language on its own separate plane, so that they were farther apart from each other, some above or below... at any rate, they didn't interact anymore, so any holes were closed. And then Charles began filling out forms, ordering statues and a lot of iron lampposts and a LOT of spears and other such weapons and new brooms and filling out a Ministry Form to make a new Dragon reservation. The new wards would sink into Hogwarts and become permanent by the end of the week, and all the shipments would arrive before then.

"Hogwarts is quite safe." Dumbledore said faintly at the end of the hour, blinking exhaustedly at his also exhausted fellow Order members. The wards were good, and he wouldn't change a thing. Partly because he didn't have the energy to, and party because they wouldn't actually hurt anyone. _No_ one would attack Hogwarts.

Andromeda swept out of his office, while Charles, Head Weasely and Lady Longbottom used the Floo to leave. All of them were shaking slightly with exhaustion, the only reason they weren't unconscious being that most of the magic used came from the everlasting Lay Lines.

And _then_ , of course Sirius and Regulus came in.

"Sir," Regulus started off, "A _friend_ of my brother's had the _bright_ idea of looking into the Book of Hogwarts students, the one that writes down all their names and where they live and sends out automatic letters, and then warding the homes of the mud - the muggleborns. Not just those that go here already, but the children that have yet to attend. Someone disillusioned could do it. And since the Headmaster is the only one with access to the book, if you could copy and give a list to someone, that'll be wonderful. Thank you."

Dumbledore smiled genially, noting that while it _was_ an idea, it wasn't likely to do much good. After all, comparatively, v _ery_ few muggleborns were scattered among the muggle population. The probability that the Death Eaters would just _happen_ to attack a street with a muggleborn on it was low. It was like scattering small mines into a forest. If you search for a week and comb carefully through the forest you'll find them all, but just tramping though the woods? _Especially_ if you have cannon-fodder, willing blood to spill so you're safe? This would _not_ cripple Voldemort. That said, they could _certainly_ use an Order member to do this. Dorea Black was _way_ too meddlesome, what with giving Hagrid a club and preparing the Order to kill, and getting her to ward the Muggleborn houses might give him time to bring the Order back to the light, to show them that killing was _never_ the answer.

And then Sirius began talking about warding Diagon Alley and Rea Alley and the Ministry to kill Death Eaters and Dumbledore sighed. Because, honestly, that would never work, not unless they did it illegally, and that wouldn't work either.

Wards were... tricky.

Wards were _very_ tricky. The first thing _any_ ward needed was an 'if-then' statement. 'If bad intentions then attack.' Diagon Alley was too complex for that. Attack children who trip each other? Attack people who steal from shops? Attack those with Dark Marks? What of spies? What of those who are imperiused - they didn't _have_ intentions, so the wards would need a second layer to stop them, another if-then statement: 'if attacking then attack', but that might be too late. If someone attacked with "Avada Kedavra", that was already a casualty. Hogwarts was easy: Just attack those attacking the children. What the children did to each other wasn't even part of the ward scheme, if a child attacked another child, then Hogwarts would call for a teacher. But in Diagon it was impossible to separate the protected and the attackers until the attackers actually attacked... and if the people answered, started fighting back, then both sides would be attacking each other, with intentions of hurting the others... the wards would go nuts.

Warding separate houses was possible, but that was because the ward was labelled as 'if the HOUSE was attacked'. After all, if the family is inside the House, then the House would be demolished first. No one would attack the actual Alley - people would attack those walking around in the Alley. The bricks themselves would never be aimed at.

Dumbledore explained this gently, and then sent the brothers on their way.

* * *

"Lily, I _don't_ want to talk about it."

Severus' voice was cold and brittle, because he had seen James talking and Lily laughing. (He always knew he'd loose to that git, he just didn't think it'd be so soon...)

"No, Sev, we're going to talk now. Don't argue. Answer with yes or no, and by the end of this conversation, we'll know where we stand. You killed." Lily was frank, harsh and honest, because this was about accepting what Sev had done and staying with him, or disagreeing and leaving.

"Yes."

"Do you still want to kill?"

"No! The bloodlust's faded. Quite frankly, that's probably why the killing was so easy, why the Death Eaters couldn't defend themselves very well. Magic demanded payment, and I was paying her. So, no, I don't want to pay anymore. I payed in full."

"Will I have to pay?"

"No."

"Right. Did you kill anyone innocent?" And this, Lily thought, this question determines my next move.

"No! They were all marked. To get a mark, you've got to kill." Severus' explanation washed over her, and Lily relaxed. That's it. Now, she just had to ease Severus' guilt.

"Right. Are we at war?"

"...Yes?"

"And you killed soldiers."

"...Yes?"

"Then it's alright, and I forgive you, Sev, and that's that. Now, you are going to follow my orders: Close the compartment door, lock it, and kiss me."

He followed her orders to the letter, kissing Lily Evans, red haired Gryffindor with fiery green eyes so hard that the window of the Hogwarts Express fogged up. The red train moved alone the tracks, and for the next few hours, everyone tried to forget their problems.

Regulus went to sit with Andromeda and Ted (who announced their engagement and, apparently, impending marriage). Remus sat with James, laughing and sniggering at the sight of Sirius trying to woo Amelia Bones.

War or not, they were still teenagers, and teenagers had a fantastic capacity to forget homework, impending deadlines, and the possibility of death in favor of love and laughter.

* * *

Author's Note (AN): About Regulus' Reaction to Remus wanting to kiss him:

I haven't kissed anyone. I haven't even _held hands_ with anyone. At one point, someone leaned over to put their hand around my shoulder to whisper in my ear and I _wasn't ready_ , so I panicked and stumbled away and ran.

If someone tries to kiss me now, I'll shriek and scream and run away. And yes, I _am_ physically attracted to people, I'm simply not ready to do anything yet. It'll come in time.

So if anyone thinks Regulus' reaction is extreme, please remember that he hadn't ever had a single thought about anything of the sort, he just liked the idea of Remus and Remus in general, and then this is thrown at him. The kid's fourteen - cut him some slack.

And if you think Remus should have grabbed him and kissed him, then you're ok with someone forcing themselves on someone else, and I want to _hurt you_ for thinking that.


	5. Chapter 5

On the 9 3/4 train station, Severus followed Regulus to Black Family in order to ask a single question:

"Wait, Andromeda - Is the Evans house going to be warded?"

"Obviously! But she's a fifth year, and we're doing this by age order. First all those in the Hogwarts' book that aren't in Hogwarts yet, then the firsties, second years, so on and so forth. God, Severus, you've got to relax. Your girlfriend's going to be _fine,_ it'll just take a few weeks to ward her house. Why would anyone attack the Evans girl?"

* * *

"Bloody Hellfire!"

A few days ago, Peter wouldn't have sworn at all, let alone in front of a lady. Now, after a few days of dueling Narcissa... well, she cursed as much as he did, if not more. The habit of keeping a clean mouth was gone. At this point, he was half-sure that she was sadistic and enjoyed making him practice again and again, except that then she taught him the healing spells. She was driven and poised and perfect (and girls didn't really look at Peter, not really, not when there was handsome and noble James, and handsome and roughish and bad-boy Sirius, and gentle and sweet and noble Remus. No one except Narcissa.)

(He was cursing because a) his parents weren't home, they were at work, and b) he had just spilled boiling Earl Gray on his hand, and it _hurt_ , damn it.)

And when they did homework, she smiled so gently. Sometimes her hand would just brush his, almost accidentally, but she'd be looking at him through her eyelashes, so maybe she was doing it purposefully...? Or he'd comment on her beauty, and she'd blush. So, in the manner of all fifteen-year-old boys everywhere who had a pretty girl around them, and the pretty girl was funny, kind, and focused completely on them, the boy decides he's in love with the girl, and on some level, he is. Love is tricky, and the only people who can truly be called soul mates or anything of the sort are 80-year-old couples who've been together for so long, have spoken to each other for so long, that they don't understand the concept of 'I'.

Narcissa knew this. She didn't mind. Didn't mind Peter's messy feelings, his crush and his adoration of her.

Lucius had loved her, really loved her in the manner of all men who had ever loved a woman, and she had loved him back. He was dead, and it hurt, and in the manner of most women who'd lost their love, she walked on and let the pain be filled with memories instead of tears. It was the way of war and life and death - the vast majority didn't commit suicide or waste and wallow away. People moved on, and that was the blunt truth. Wallowing wasn't romantic - it was letting your potential waste away.

Peter would take care of her and treat her kindly, and perhaps in time he'd fall in love for real and she'd grow to love him back. You didn't have to love someone to get married. You just have to have the potential for love and the ability to work at the keeping the relationship alive. Love would come. So long as the man loved you, you'd grow to love him back. It was what her mother had whispered to her, in secret, when Narcissa had asked if she loved her father when they got married. The answer had been 'I love him now, and that's all that matters'.

'I love him now'.

Taking a sip of her morning tea and smiling at Peter as he grumbled about his spilled tea, Narcissa turned her mind to family matters.

Andromeda would be getting married in a week because Narcissa had written her a letter, telling her that the sooner the better - 'Meda would be pregnant within the month. Both Ted and Andromeda were seventeen and had graduated Hogwarts, so there was no problem, as they were legal adults and engaged and helplessly in love with each other to the point where it was sickening. Honestly - she didn't even see them, and her magic told her that she didn't want to see them. Andromeda was - ah - a passionate individual.

Sirius was courting Amelia, a Hufflepuff, but Amelia wasn't making it easy. (Good for her. Narcissa had toyed with Lucius for a year before she even held his hand.) Sirius was very excited about the chase, because here was someone who would call him an idiot instead of dragging him into broom closets, and he never knew someone like that.

Regulus was avoiding Remus Lupin (and it was such a shame, because as far as she knew, all that happened was that Remus was too interested, and she knew that Regulus was attracted to the fellow before he himself knew). Lupin was sick with some sort of... magic related flu that had to be cured with a kiss. A freely given kiss. (That stunk of ritual sacrificial magic, but she wasn't going to pry, because if it were important then she'd just _know_.) Also, Lupin was safe - more than safe. At one point, her magic had 'sanctioned' Lupin, which meant that he was loyal and (if needed) would die for the family. Good. A lord needed a vassal, a knight, for a reason. Like Bellatrix had been, Lupin was good at defense, so when Regulus would be in danger, there would be a knight in shining armor, and plenty to tease her little cousin about.

And of course Regulus was freaking about this - he wasn't used to the idea of a 'loyal knight' who was in love with him and wanted a kiss. She didn't blame him... she just wished he'd grow up a little, get used to the idea, and kiss Remus already. But she wouldn't push him. After all, it had taken her ages to allow Lucius more than a peck on the cheek. Some people were just shy about it.

(Of course, part of her had shied away from the idea of two men, just as she shied away from Sirius courting a _Hufflepuff_ , and ugh, Peter was a _Mudblood_. And then she thought about it and decided that her parents had conditioned her very well, to make her scorn her family's happiness, and her own chance at happiness, because of some idea of a caste and definition of love, and she decided that as a mere human she probably shouldn't judge.

If Magic decided that something was wrong, Magic could judge and strike people down, but if Regulus was happy with Remus and Sirius was all googly-eyed about a Hufflepuff and happy about it and she had a warm feeling when thinking of Peter and Magic hadn't killed any of them, then everything was probably all right).

Narcissa couldn't remember how much of this was told to her explicitly, sent in a letter, or how much she knew just because of some weird seer-related magic thingy, but it didn't matter.

For now, she'd try to set up Regulus and Remus, and meanwhile she and Peter would have to practice and get better.

After all, Regulus would be in danger soon. It'd be better if he had competent people to protect him, and perfect if he had already gotten over his issues with Lupin by then.

(She'd have been happier with Lucius. But... Bellatrix and Sirius would have gone insane and both have been sent to Azkaban, Regulus would never have reached 19 years of age, Andromeda would have lost a daughter and a son-in-law... her son would have been tortured. This was better. Thank Merlin for Severus' ambition and Lily's love.)

Both Narcissa and Peter took out their Transfiguration homework.

* * *

Tom Marvolo Riddle, the self-styled Lord Voldemort, stood in front of a potential follower and tried to figure out where he stood and what his next plans where.

His diary horcrux was hidden away in the depths of Malfoy Manor, until he decided to use it. The Cup of Helga Hufflepuff, containing a bit of his soul, was in Gringotts bank, in the account of Lestrange Senior. There was the Locket of Slytherin in a cave with inferni protecting it. The Gaunt Ring was in an old house, hidden well and protected well. Ravenclaw's Diadem was in Hogwarts, in the Room of Requirement. While there was a large snake coiled at his feet, it wasn't a horcrux. He would need to find someone suitable to kill to make a horcrux.

And so, Lord Voldemort had five horcruxes. He was immortal, and slightly more sane and human-like than when he had seven.

For one, he still had a nose. His eyes were red, but he wasn't bald, and his skin contained slightly more color than a corpse. If he had been human, he would have been handsome. As it was, most people had the urge to run at the sight of him.

A boy, Hogwarts age, stood in front of him. Slytherin colors, last name of Nott. He had been Lucius' friend, and, at one point, Bellatrix' lover. Now the two were killed, and he had come crawling to ask for a Mark. The Dark Lord was almost amused at the thought of this boy begging to for a chance to kill the way boys begged their parents for a later curfew or for permission to spend the night out with a girl. He wondered, briefly, if the boy had loved Bellatrix or Lucius more, wondered who to use more effectively against the Nott boy.

"And why, child, should I Mark one who has no use to me? Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Black were quite above your current level, and you wish to do something in their names, to avenge them. Why would _you_ be worthy of avenging the likes of Lucius and Bellatrix?" Now Nott would certainly wish to be in his service, to prove himself, if only to commemorate the memories of his friends.

This was why sentiment was useless. It was too easy to hurt people with sentiment.

"I - I can bring information."

A spy? He had thought of this before... but a _child_ spy was brilliant. No one would suspect a child. Someone loitering outside a random hallway with a book would look suspicious, but a boy reading it and muttering to himself about his N.E.W.T.s wouldn't draw attention, even if the boy had been listening to the conversations of Albus Dumbledore himself.

"Oh? Elaborate." Lord Voldemort smiled, showing teeth that were too sharp.

"I. I. A few days ago, Death Eaters in some hideout were killed and brought to Diagon Alley." Voldemort bared his teeth. There was a distinct difference between this and smiling, and judging by the way Nott whispered a prayer to the Great Five (Merlin, Lady Le Fay, Nimue, the Great Dragon and the Lady of the Lake) he knew it. But he steeled himself and kept talking, and Voldemort thought that perhaps Nott would really be useful.

"I overheard the Slytherin Half-blood Severus Snape and the Gryffindor Mudblood Lily Evans talking on the train, and the Mudblood said that it was Snape who had killed the Death Eaters. But, um, sir, the Black Family has re-formed, re-grouped, and they've taken Snape under their wing."

This was news. One of his greatest achievements as a politician was splitting up the Blacks. But if they've reformed and no one approached him, that means that none of them were on his side. The Blacks were an old family, ridiculously rich and wealthy. Explaining that they were blood traitors was suicidal and ordering his followers to kill them was suicidal, as half his followers would simply leave and the other half would die trying to kill even one person. He couldn't touch them. (The Lord Voldemort had at one point lowered himself to watch a filthy muggle film called 'The Godfather', and was reminded of the Blacks. He made a vow to never let them watch the movie.)

Onto the half-blood: he could take the boy, Crucio him, make an example out of him. Make the boy bleed and plead for death.

Or, he could break the boy via other means. Taking the Mudblood was expected, he had taken many, tortured many, killed many...

But if he hurt her with other means, if he separated the two, and showed the boy that he was worth more than the girl... hmm. That was an idea. After all, the two of them were symbols now. If Nott knew that the half-blood of them had fought against his Death Eaters and won, then everyone else probably knew. The Hogwarts rumer mill was either ridiculously true, down to the smallest detail, or ridiculously false.

So they were symbols. And he needed at least one on his side, and the Mudblood wasn't an option. If he stripped the girl of his magic and told the boy to follow his orders so he'd give the girl back her magic, all everyone would see was that the girl didn't come back to Hogwarts and the boy had been converted to his side.

Lord Voldemort smiled at Nott.

"You've certainly deserved a Mark. I could only hope that you continue to deserve it, young man. But just because you deserve it doesn't mean you've earned it."

Just because you _can_ take a test doesn't mean you've taken it... nor does it mean you've passed.

"So, Nott, here is what you must to do be given my Dark Mark. There is a potion that I have invented. It separates the magic core from the body. It can be given to children to stop accidental magic, and as they grow older, their magic either burns through the potion, or grows stronger and more separate from the child itself... making an Obscurial. Can you guess what happens if a teenager, one whose magic has not yet completely grown and fused with the body but whose magic wont grow much more, is given the potion?"

Tom Marvolo Riddle smiled to himself as the Nott boy licked himself and thought about it. He had researched magic when making horcruxes, and what he had found was... extraordinary. Wizards and Witches were born with a body and soul and magic - a tiny speck of magic just hanging onto the soul. As they grew, first the speck of magic grew stronger and stronger, becoming a core.

At around eleven years of age, the core would stop growing, and for the next six years (until the person grew to be seventeen, the age one became an adult) the core would start becoming part of the body. Of course, the core would be (very slowly) becoming part of the body for the first eleven years, but this would be happening at an insignificant rate. And the core would be growing during the teenage years, but once again, the rate would be insignificant.

"... My Lord... I imagine that, as a teenager, because the core isn't fully fused with the body, the person _might_ stay alive... but I think it's more likely that their magic will quickly fuse to the body but won't be able to move outside it. So one wouldn't be affected by muggle-repelling charms or anything of the sort, but they wouldn't be able to do magic? But magic is mean to be used..."

"Precisely. They'd be squibs... and they wouldn't get the Hogwarts letter. Eventually, over the course of a year, their magic will start to... atrophy, as it were. Over the course of a year, either the magic fades and they become squibs, or it tries to connect with the body, changing it and killing it like a cancer. I shall give you such a potion, and in order to get the Mark, you must have the Lily Evans Mudblood drink the entire potion. Understood?"

"Yes, yes, of course M'lord."

"Macnair will give you the potion within an hour. You have the rest of the week to feed the potion to the Mudblood. You can ask Evan Rosier and his family for help. Go!"

"Of course, M'lord." Nott bowed and scampered away, leaving Lord Voldemort sitting on the throne, alone in the spacious chamber. The room itself was dark and almost perfectly round, with the throne across the door. The large windows didn't allow nearly enough light into the room, and had there been anyone in the room, they would have barely seen Tom Marvolo Riddle's silhouette, while he would have been able to see them perfectly.

As it was, the Dark Lord flicked his wand and a mahogany table grew out of the floor, maps scattered across the surface. It had taken a bit of work, a lot of arithmancy and a few Nordic runes to have the room offer this table when he needed it and to take it away when he didn't need it anymore, but the end result was worth it.

The Dark Lord unfurled a large map of the Magical British Isles and the surrounding areas.

He couldn't attack Hogsmeade, not again. That would label him as a sore looser, and it was very close to Hogwarts... He couldn't face Dumbledore, not yet. He wasn't strong enough. Attacking the Ministry was foolhardy. The aurors were trained, Minister Millicent Bagnold was good at defending the actual even if she wasn't sure what to do politically, and DMLE head Bartemius Crouch Sr... was an excellent fighter. He would lose too many of his forces. Not to mention, there were whispers of the auror prodigy Alastor Moody.

The Ministry would have to fall at a later date. Meanwhile his followers slowly infiltrated its ranks, and he needed a place that was easily taken and actually had some consequences.

Of course, Platform 9 3/4 could be attacked on September 1st. Plenty of Mudblood and Muggle targets, although there were Pure children there as well.

Perhaps he ought to destroy Hyde Park.

Or perhaps not... After all, he had to take the Ministry and subdue the Wizards before taking the Muggle world. What would the destruction of Hyde Park give him?

However, there were certain muggle trains that were used by witches and wizards as well as muggles. He could crash one - killing muggles and wizards alike. After all, nobody properly pureblood ever used the train.

 _(In real life, here's what happened: 1975, Febuary 28, a London Subway Train smashed into the end of a tunnel at Moorgate Underground station. 43 people died.)_

It wouldn't be hard to do. An Imperius curse on the right muggles, a few charms on the train and on the tracks...

The Wizarding World would learn its lesson - do not mix with Muggles or their spawn.

Voldemort bared his teeth and summoned a few of his Death Eaters.

* * *

Thaen Nott shivered as he looked at the bottle. It was maybe 20 cm tall, around 6 cm in diameter. The liquid was thin and looked like liquid black opals.

It frightened him. Dark Magicks were not taught at Hogwarts, but he was a pureblood heir to an ancient House. He knew, right away, the minimum required to create such a potion. It had been drilled into him.

A few murders, blood of at least two virgins - a few drops from the virgin, and a few drops after the virginity was taken. With something like this, the virginity was probably taken by force. And the act had to be enjoyed. (Thaen Nott forcibly ignored his rising nausea as he contemplated a few other ingredients needed for a potion of this caliber).

It was black: Blood from a suicide.

It was opal-like, shining, as if oily: Blood from a failed suicide.

(One couldn't be coerced into suicide - no 'imperio, now please kill yourself'. It had to be of their own free will.)

A few mundane ingredients, hyssop and myrtle, unicorn hair and dragon's claws, powdered beetle and boiled frog spawn, this and that, were also required.

Laughter was probably an ingredient. (Pained laughter or innocent laughter, he wasn't sure, and he wasn't sure which was worse. How one acquired laughter, any laughter, was not something he thought about). Blood from a Glasgow Smile. Moonlight and cat's tears. Mermaid silk.

(Mermaid silk was something one got by flaying the mermaids alive and spinning the silk from their screams and skin).

Thaen Nott shivered and thanked Merlin and Morgana that he did not participate in the making of the potion, didn't even have to watch. All he had to do was feed it to the Evans Mudblood.

And as with most Dark Potions, it had to be drunk willingly. (The term 'Willing' was a lose term).

As Nott knocked on Evan Rosier's door, he forcibly reminded himself that the Dark Lord was very generous to give him a chance to avenge his friends.

As Rosier opened the door with a raised eyebrow, and Nott explained and Rosier nodded and they went to track down the Mudblood, Nott reminded himself that. That.

That.

Well, he reminded himself that just because he preferred Light magic over Dark was no reason to shout his opinion to the sky and get himself killed.

Rosier looked at the pale, shaking boy in front of him, and decided that some people just weren't (weak) strong enough to get addicted. That some people preferred alcohol to cocaine, marijuana to heroin, loneliness to murder, nicotine patches to cigarettes.

Rosier decided that Nott needed to be quickly get an addiction, taste the alcohol and like it for this side to trust him. He needed to try at least the cigarettes, to show that just because he didn't like the - the brutality - wasn't reason for the Death Eaters not to trust him. He needed to do something to stay alive.

Rosier decided it wasn't his business if Nott survived or not, and quickly continued scrying for the Mudblood.

* * *

Lily shivered.

She wasn't cold, per se. Petunia was snarling at her, sneering. The entire family was eating dinner, her father carefully steering the conversation so that Petunia and Lily wouldn't explode at each other again. She shivered because she missed the warmth of magic wrapping around her, the feeling of Hogwarts and any sort of magic one felt when living in an area of highly concentrated magic.

She was the only magical being here. Only her temperature was slightly higher than normal human temperature, only she would think of her family's hands as cold. Only she was cold.

Her mother was smiling thinly, trying to pretend that her two children were still friends.

"Pass the salt?" Her father was cheerful, even as Petunia rolled her eyes and gave him the salt with a sneer.

The doorbell rang, and both Lily and Petunia perked up.

It might be Severus, Lily thought with a smile.

It might be Vernon, Petunia thought. She didn't smile. She didn't love him, she wouldn't grow to love him, he wasn't the type of man one grew to love. But both girls perked up and rushed to answer the door, even as Mrs. Violet Evans and Mr. Harold Evans smiled at each other, laughing silently at the antics of teenage girls.

Once upon a time, Violet had rushed to answer the very same door, brimming with excitement that was no mirrored by her daughters. And at one point, it had been Harold at the door, back from the war with fire in his eyes and demons in his memory and blood on his uniform and a ring in his hands. Violet still wore the ring. (Harold still had nightmares, and Violet still kissed him awake from the dreams.)

"Hello, Mudblood and scum." Rosier barely hissed the words as the redheaded Gryffindor opened the door, beaming. Nott grabbed her hand, pulling her outside, while Rosier grabbed the brunette horse-like girl behind the Mudblood and pulled her outside as well.

Both boys were dressed in bone white masks and black robes, one of them was a murderer, and the other would become one within the hour.

Rosier forced Petunia to her knees, put his wand to her temple, and spoke 3 fatal sentences:

"If you make a sound, you die. If the Mudblood doesn't drink, you die. If the Mudblood moves, you die."

Nott gave Lily the bottle and pointed his wand at her. Lily watched him absentmindedly. Time slowed down. The liquid in the bottle seemed too thick to be water. It was dark and haunting and sloshed threateningly. Petunia's eyes were large and masked with fear. Her eyes, Lily thought absentmindedly, had more emotion than her own. Brown eyes could be warmer and hold more love than green could, and they could be deader and more hateful than green eyes. They held more fear than should be possible.

The boy holding Petunia had gray eyes. They were bored.

A different boy was offering her a bottle and point his wand at her. Vinewood wand held in a shaking hand, and his eyes, hazel, were big and terrified.

"Girls? What's going on?" Violet Evan's voice was curious and slightly mocking, floating from the kitchen and out to the children. She hadn't seen the trouble, and neither had her husband.

"Need help?" Harold's voice was amused and full of laughter, and the four children each paled for a different reason as they heard chairs being pushed back, two people standing, and those same people walking quickly towards the door.

Lily opened her mouth, but Rosier got there first:

"Everybody shut up!"

Violet and Harold froze in the doorway.

"Bloody hell, I don't have _time_ for this. We could kill your daughter in an instant, unless the Mudblood drinks the potion. All of the potion."

There was a moment of silence and Lily took a breath and brought the potion to her lips. Then -

"What's the potion going to do to Lily?" Violet demanded.

Nott hesitated, his wand lowering by a fraction of a centimeter before coming back up.

"That - that doesn't matter! Just drink it! You've got to drink it all!" No one commented on the way his voice seamed a little high pitched. Lily looked at Petunia.

Something to be noted: Harold and Violet stood in the doorway, Harold slightly behind Violet. Next to the doorway, inside the house, there was a shelf. On the shelf, there was a gun.

Something to be noted: Harold was a soldier. He had shot and killed and remembered very well how to do so.

Something to be noted: Harold was reaching for the gun.

Something to be noted: Harold didn't know who the fellows in the masks and robes were, only that they were threats. He didn't know if they were adults or not, but they were threatening his family, and thus needed to be eliminated. (It didn't matter. Harold had been sixteen when he signed up for the war, and there were children signing up on the other side, as well. Children shooting children).

Something to be noted: Harold did have a clear shot of Rosier, the lad in the bone-white mask and black robes that was holding Petunia. But Lily was blocking Nott - it was hard to get a good shot at him.

Something to be noted: Harold knew that these fellows didn't know what a gun was; he couldn't threaten them with it. They were wearing robes and had sticks. Ergo they were wizards. They were threatening his family: Ergo they were purebloods who wished to kill his family and didn't know about the so-called muggle world. He couldn't threaten them. Nor could he put his family in danger.

Something to be noted: Nobody was watching Harold - everybody was watching Lily close her eyes and slowly drink the potion. Petunia and Violet watched in horror, Rosier with glee, Nott watched with guilt and sorrow. Harold grasped his gun.

Something to be noted: The bone-white masks offered protection against spells. Not against sharp pieces of metal.

Something to be noted: While Lily slowly sipped the potion, Nott's wand had lowered and was now pointing loosely at the ground. He was a non-threat. Petunia was kneeling in front of Rosier, facing Lily, with Rosier's wand pointed at Petunia's temple. Rosier's face, though covered with a mask, was an open, clear shot.

Harold grasped his gun, stepped forward, and shot Rosier through the forehead, not that he knew who it was.

At the sharp _bang!_ Lily dropped the bottle, Nott disapparated back to the Rosier manor, Violet gasped, Petunia shrieked, and Rosier fell dead. The mask on his face shattered, white shards falling around him onto the pavement as his body dropped, a single bullet hole on his forehead, black robes pooling around the corpse.

Lily had drunk a little less than half the bottle, but the effects were already setting in: She swayed dizzily, mentioned that Sev ought to help her, and fainted.

* * *

"You - you sick fuck. Bloody wanking prat! You - you're an utter _pillock_ , you know that? Bugger off! In fact, get the FUCK out of my life!" Petunia slammed the door in Vernon Dursley's face.

As Lily fell, Harold leapt forward to catch her. He didn't speak a word as he gently placed Lily on a couch, leaving Violet to run to Snipper's End. She had gone to get 'Sev', the Severus Snape boy who was Lily's friend, the one she asked for.

Petunia was sitting vigil as Harold ran to get more bullets and powder and knives - no reason to assume they wouldn't get attacked again. And then the doorbell rang. Through the eyehole, Vernon Dursley's face was clearly visible, and Petunia opened the door to explain that her sister wasn't feeling well. (They had shoved Rosier's body into the bushes... for now).

Except that Vernon had asked 'so?'. He had raised an eyebrow that clearly expressed that he didn't care about Lily's well-being.

And Petunia had yelled at him and broken up with him, and didn't regret it at all. Instead, she looked at Lily, unconscious on the couch, and wondered at life. Had this been a fairy tale, Lily would have been beautiful.

In Snow White, the girl was gorgeous, even when dead. After a hundred-year coma, Sleeping Beauty was just that: a beauty. But Lily was too pale. Her hair didn't form a halo; it was a tangled mess. The veins at her wrists and eyelids and temples were visible and she looked - not pretty. She looked sick.

It didn't matter.

It didn't matter weather Lily was pretty or not, a witch or not - Lily could be a vampiric monster or an alien or the moon. It didn't matter, because Lily was her sister, and nothing mattered in the way of that.

Harold stood at the door with a gun, his eyes cold. They hadn't touched the corpse in front of the house except to move it back out of the shrubs after Vernon Dursely left. Let the boy's bloody body be a detergent to all those who tried to hurt the family.

Violet would be on the move, going to the Snapes', so it would be hard to get a lock down on her - she'd be safe, and she'd have a wizard's protection on the way back. (Harold preferred not to remember his wife's proficiency at breaking noses and kicking the, um, the pelvic area. One had to be in close quarters to do that, and Harold, like all sane men, did not enjoy thinking of someone he loved being in close quarters with danger).

Petunia sat vigil.

Later, as a grandmother, she would look back at this time and say, quietly, that this was the hardest time of her life. Giving birth, watching her daughter give birth - that was nothing compared to this. Even the MI6 missions she'd go on would mean nothing after these moments.

Later, as she lay dying, she told Lily, quietly, that she thanked God for the breast cancer, because it meant she did not have to watch Lily a second time. She told Lily she was so, so happy to go first, because she wouldn't be able to bare her sister dying.

Later, when it would be over, Lily would confess to Petunia that she _knew_ her sister was next to her, and that it was this presence that kept her breathing.

Right now?

Right now, Petunia sat vigil. She didn't cry, didn't keep track of the time. Hours might have passed. It may have been centuries. Petunia only knew that the sight of Lily, looking dead and in all ways but for the soft breaths passing through her nose, made a decision for Petunia: Cut her hair. Pack the mascara, the rouge, the salmon-pink dress away. Stop wondering about how she'd ever get a boyfriend. Stop being petty.

And ask her dad to teach her how to shoot a gun. MI6 knew about magic (as did the Queen and Prime Minister), so she'd join MI6. And she'd keep her little sister safe.

A long, long time ago, Lily had almost drowned. She had been four, Petunia had been six, and Lily had gone wading into a pond. The rest was a blur. Petunia had run in after her sister, screaming at the top of her lungs. Petunia had saved Lily - or so people said. But Petunia remembered nothing except the feeling: _Oh, god, she's going to die._

And then: _Not on my watch_.

 _Not on my watch, Lily. Lil' sister. Not on my watch._

 _Daddy put a bullet in a man's head for you, Lil' girl._

 _Doesn't matter how big you get, Lil' girl._

 _I'll always be your older sister, Lil' girl._

 _I always knew I'd kill for you, Lil' flower._

 _Just never knew I will kill for you, Lil' flower._

 _Don't you worry, Lil' flower. I'll keep watch, Lil' flower._

 _Just you wait, Lil' flower, you'll be safe, Lil' flower,_

 _They'll be dead, Lil' flower, don't you worry, Lil' flower,_

 _I'm your sister, Lil' flower, I'll take care of you._

* * *

Violet Evans knocked frantically on the door of Snipper's End, panting slightly. She didn't know the name of the Magic Hospital, or even if there was one, and Lily had asked for Severus, so - Oh, god, she hoped her daughter was alright.

She had to run, she couldn't bare to let Petunia go outside, alone, in the steadily darkening light - no, her other daughter had to stay at home, safe, with Harold (who _happened_ to have a gun).

The door opened.

The woman had black hair, eyes, and an unfortunate nose. She wasn't beautiful, or pretty, but she was elegant and had a certain presence. Violet, on the other hand, was petite, with reddish-blonde hair and gray eyes and perfect complexion. Even at nearing forty, she was pretty.

Mrs. Snape's lips thinned.

"Yes?"

"I'm - my name is Violet Evans, and I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but my daughter, Lily, she was _hurt_ , and she was asking for Severus. I know it's rude, but -"

Mrs. Snape's expression cleared up and she almost smiled.

"You're Lily's mother, then? Not to worry, I'll grab the first aid kit and we'll be right over, just tell me what happened...?"

As Mrs. Evans explained, trembling, her voice didn't falter. She didn't stop to cry, didn't stop to ask for comfort. She just followed Mrs. Eileen Snape nee Prince and Severus Tobias Snape around the house and watched them grab a first aid kit and several ingredients and a cauldron and stuff them into a bag, and she thought.

She thought, _my daughter was hurt today._

 _My husband killed today._

 _Eileen and Severus look angry and frightened, not surprised._

 _This has been boiling over for some time, if they aren't surprised._

 _If Lily had been targeted specifically, I would have been warned, the houses would have been protected, the family would have been moved if this attack was against Lily specifically_ and _people knew about it. This is against all muggle borns, as Lily warned me in her letters._

 _This particular attack was designed for Lily - the Death Eaters were very insistent on everything being perfect, and they didn't have a bunch of bottles for the next attack or whatever. They were very insistent that Lily drink everything - insistent on Lily. This was planned against my daughter._

 _There is a war brewing, and my daughter is important enough that she had a specific fate planned out for her, and she is unaware of it, because she didn't warn me._

 _Damn right my daughter is important._

And then:

 _My husband is a soldier. Lily will not take this lying down, and neither will her young man - Severus._

 _I see his mother: If Severus goes to war, so will Eileen Snape nee Prince. Perhaps not at the front lines, but there were the red cross medics, people in used-to-be-white uniforms crawling across the battlefield to get another body. (My mother was one of them)._

 _Petunia is a fighter. She can stew in anger and act on it for ages. She can hold a grudge; she will ask to hold a gun._

 _I will not stop her._

 _..._

 _My god, I will not stop my daughter from going to the battlefield, just as I will not stop my husband.  
What sort of woman does that make me? _

_I need a gun as well. Perhaps not. I do not wish to kill. Perhaps I will be one of those crawling across the battlefield to get another body._

 _..._

 _My daughter has been hurt._

 _Theodore Rosevelt didn't spare the bear cub because it was a child; human aren't that kind. Theodore Rosevelt spared the cub because where there is a child, there is a mother, and an enraged, protective mother bear is more dangerous than anything._

 _I do not mind going to war; I've done it before. I've married a soldier._

"Mrs. Evans, if you can hold my arm, I shall apparate both you and my son over to the front steps of your house. I will have to have a sample of the potion to try and break down the ingredients. Severus will need to use your fireplace to contact some friends that can ward your house; we can't do it here as our fireplace was trashed. D'you mind?"

"No, not at all. Thank you for the help."

Looking back, Violet Evans would say that she did not remember what the house looked like, nor would she know what excuse the family gave for the distinct lack of a father on a Sunday afternoon. She wouldn't remember running from her house to Snipper's end, or really, anything after Harold fired his gun.

It was the apparation that woke her up. Appearing on the doorstep of her house after being squeezed through a tube would wake anyone up. The door swung open, Harold grabbing her and pulling his wife into a kiss.

Because she was home.

(Somewhere in his mind, Harold thought of the London Blitz, and he thought, for just a moment, that Violet had done this before, had run outside because she caught sight of someone who needed help, caught sight of a boy with a hurt arm who would leave to become a soldier and then come back to ask for her hand - this isn't the first time that Violet had run out into death and destruction.)

Eileen Snape nee Prince had set up a cauldron _in their living room_ , and was currently muttering to herself while alternating between waving her wand over Lily and throwing ingredients into her cauldron.

"Sev - floo the Blacks - need wards, tell the Ministry that magic's happening - _bloody Merlin's beard where are the lacewings!_ "

Severus looked up from where he was holding Lily's hand and grabbed the floo powder he'd brought with him. Throwing some into the fireplace and turning the fire green had caused a choked off gasp from Petunia, and a half-scream emerged from Violet when he stuck his head in after yelling 'Potter Manor'.

"Regulus Black!" Severus snapped. Regulus had told him that the Black brothers were staying with James Potter for the summer... if this wasn't the truth, if they were unavailable...

"Severus?"

"Bloody-Fucking-Merlin! I need you to come ward the Evans' place _right now_! Lily's been attacked; we need Lord Potter to make sure she's safe, Mum says we can't move her 'cause the potion's playing havoc with her kidneys and bone marrow or something, we gotta tell the Ministry that we're doing magic, Regulus -"

"I'm not stepping foot there; too many important figures in one area is a terrible idea. Lord Potter will be there in a minute. He'll ward the house and go to inform the Ministry that no underage magic will be a problem. And, Sev..."

"What?!"

"... James Potter will be coming over as well, you know how he is about the Evans girl. He'll be alone: my brother, thankfully, is asleep. I drugged him on sleeping potion because he was being loud."

Regulus stepped away from the fireplace, as did Severus. In Potter Manor, Regulus ordered a house-elf to inform Lord Potter of the information he just learned, and then went to his room to compose a long letter to Narcissa. She was good at Family Magicks; maybe she could offer advice on how to keep the peace between his idiot of a brother, said idiot's best friend, and Severus.

Meanwhile, Lord Charles Potter entered the Evans household via fireplace and paused to take in the sight. James' letters had been very descriptive, and he had pointed out people on Platform 9 3/4 in previous years, so he recognized the people in the room. Severus and Petunia sat next to Lily, one of them praying to Merlin and Mother Magic, and the other praying to - someone called Jesus? As soon as he entered, Severus had leapt up, pointing his wand at Charles' heart, while Petunia had thrown herself over Lily's body. After a second, Severus relaxed, and the two of them went to their former positions.

Mrs. Snape had a small table and a cauldron set up in the living room, along with a floating vial of some disgusting black potion that she occasionally shot a diagnostic spell at before chopping up a few more ingredients to add to her cauldron. At Lord Potter's entry, she spared him naught a glance.

Mr. Evans (he assumed), on the other hand, stepped in front of his lady wife and pointed a strange machine at him. It seemed to be a... tube, a metal tube with a strange contraption on which Mr. Evans was holding onto.

"Hands up! Who're you, why're you here? I'm armed, I tell you, and I've killed with this before. If you do anything, I won't shoot your heart or head, you bastard, I'll shoot your _kneecaps out_ , and then _stomp on your fingers_ , and then I'll _fucking gut you_."

Lord Charles Potter instantly approved of the man: how could he not? Charles himself had made threats like that when someone had threatened Dorea (then Black) back at Hogwarts.

"My name is Lord Charles Potter. I'm here to ward your house against future attacks. My wards aren't very creative; Andromeda Black's are better, with her creativity, I wouldn't be surprised if her children will be metamorphmagi. However, Andromeda is currently unavailable, and my wards and _quite_ sufficient, so I shall put them up. Any questions?"

"Yes," Harold answered, opening the door and steering Lord Potter outside, "What do we do with the boy I killed?"

While Charles did something to the body to make it appear that the cause of death _wasn't_ the small bullet hole in his forehead (mainly by summoning the bullet, regenerating all the flesh, and cleaning up the blood) to make it appear that the cause of death was Avada Kedavra, chanted at the house to create the wards, and ordered a house elf to 'take this letter to the Improper Use of Magic office at once!', a different sort of Potter-Evans interaction went on inside.

James Potter had just stumbled out of the fireplace as Severus and Petunia gently held up Lily's body and Eileen Snape poured a teaspoon worth of lilac coloured potion down her throat.

The boy froze as Violet grabbed his arm.

"Don't move! Who're you?"

"Um, James Potter, ma'am, my father should be here."

"Your father is outside with my husband. My name is Violet Evans. I am the mother of Lily and Petunia. Currently, my daughter is _very, very_ hurt, and if you try to disrupt the healing, there will be another corpse."

"Y-yes, ma'am."

James waited patiently for Lily to be laid back down, but when Mrs. Eileen Snape announced that 'that's it for now, we'll give her another dose in a few hours if she wakes up', he rushed over to the couch.

"Who the _bloody fuck_ are you?" Petunia sneered at him.

"Language!" Violet scolded her daughter absentmindedly. This boy was another one of Lily's suitors. Severus, this 'James'... how many did Lily have? (Which ones will she slaughter for making her daughter cry?)

"I'm - I'm James - is Lily going to be al right?"

"What business is it of _yours_ , Potter?"

"I care about her, unlike _you_ , _Snivellous!_ "

At this, Petunia stood up, grabbed James' wrist, and pulled him toward the kitchen.

"What's your _problem,_ Potter?"

James blinked. At that point, Petunia's voice reminded him so much of Lily that he had to do a double take. Petunia _did_ remind him of Lily. She burned the same way. She had the same anger, the same snarl when she was mad, the same principled idea of 'I'm right, and nothing can change that'.

If she was slightly less beautiful, it didn't make her _less_. Moreover, at a certain age, every girl is beautiful, and Petunia was at that age.

"I don't _have_ a problem." James was used to fights with Lily. He knew how she reacted to him, he knew what Lily would have done next. Petunia - He'd only ever seen her when the Evans family was picking Lily up from the train station. She was a mystery.

"Don't lie to me. Why are you even _here?_ " Petunia's voice was cold, sharp, and James felt _small_ before her. Insignificant. She captured his attention, made him want to answer, to prove himself in a way that Lily never did.

"I - I love Evans! I'm not going to _leave_ her!" His explanation seemed lacking, even to him, so it was no surprise when Petunia's eyebrow raised.

"Alright, so you're jealous." Her voice was _just_ slightly mocking, and James thought that she could make even Dumbledore feel inadequate.

"I am _not_ jealous! Why would I be jealous!" James winced at hearing his own voice. He sounded childish, young, silly. Lily had always scorned him for that whine. Petunia didn't scorn him - her face relaxed, her lips twitching, as if she was reminded of someone she knew.

"Well," and her voice was gentle in a way Lily's had never been, "Because Severus had had Lily's heart for eight years now, ever since she was seven years old, and when she writes letters to us they're devoted to him and their conversations and there's only the slightest P.S. saying that the dratted Marauders are bothering her again, and stupid Potter is still a bully. She doesn't give you the time of day, and you want her to, because she is _everything_. My sister is _everything_ , isn't she?"

James paled. He felt - dissected. Open. Petunia had seen everything about him in just a glance, and she was right: Lily was _everything_.

And she was sad about that.

Petunia looked - empty, almost. 'My sister is everything'...

"No."

"Oh?"

"Not everything. She's precious, mind, and wonderful, and I love her, but - not everything. My mum said that when you really love someone you never let them go, but, well..." Here he hesitated.

"I think I've always known that I'm going to let Lily go."

There was a smile at that, an approving smile, and James knew, quite suddenly, that like Mozart, if he didn't have one sister he'd have the other.

"What's your name?"

"Petunia."

"May I call you Nia?"

"Yes. May I call you James?"

"Yes. What, um... tell me about yourself."

All in all, she wasn't too different from Lily. But Lily _burned_ like fire, and only a few people could stand that. Petunia burned, too, and was beautiful in her own way, but Petunia burned like ice.

James looked forward to making her melt. For now, he'd just find out more about her, and it looked like she was as smart and good at arguing as Lily was, and just as protective, except the look in her eye was _quite_ different.

He _very_ much liked that difference.


	6. Chapter 6

"...Narcissa?"

"Yes, Mrs. Pettigrew?"

"Are you sure that your parents know where you are? They haven't contacted us yet, and they haven't contacted you, either, and I'm rather worried about you.

 _Don't worry, Mrs. Pettigrew. Andromeda, Sirius, Regulus, Severus and I killed my parents and my aunt and uncle (Regulus' and Sirius' parents), along with all the other Death Eaters in the house. It is currently being used as Order headquarters, but as we're part of a secret 'gray' side to the war, neither dark nor light, we're not part of the Order._

 _The Order doesn't accept children anyway, not that we_ want _to join. We're Gray. At any rate, my parents are dead. Along with my sister and fiancee. Isn't that lovely? By the way, I'm seducing your son because he's smart and magically powerful - an animagus at fifteen! - and a scholar and muggle-born and thus my ticket to a better future. He's fairly cowardly as well, but I'll just build up his confidence._

 _By the way, I don't have a legal guardian, because the Head of House Black is Regulus who is fourteen years old. Ergo, I'm under his keeping, but he's younger than me, a minor. Meanwhile, there is a war happening, and I have to keep my family safe._

 _If you hurt my family, I will kill you the way I killed Jared, and then I will throw up. Again. The way I did last time. I'm not a 'good' girl, Mrs. Pettigrew._

"I'm sorry you weren't informed, Mrs. Pettigrew, but my parents are no longer on this side of the world. My legal guardians and I had an argument over politics, and I'm no longer welcome into their keeping."

"But that's terrible!" Mrs. Pettigrew looked distressed and reached over to pat Narcissa's hand.

"I do not mind - my parents have been, ah, gone for quite a while now." After all, time is relative, so she didn't even lie.

"My legal guardians and I are on opposite sides of a political argument." She continued. And this, too, was true. Narcissa was not yet seventeen, so Dumbledore was acting as her guardian, as he was acting in loco parentis to all students under his care.

"What, are they communists or some such?" Mr. Pettigrew had his eyes narrowed, and Narcissa remembered, suddenly, that the Soviet Union was currently starving the countries and people under its jurisdiction because Communism is not a viable way to live and the system was screwed up. She remembered the Communist Manifesto explaining that women were property, that if someone didn't want communism it'd be forced upon them, and thinking that every system needed a head and this system was set up for dictatorship.

"No, sir, communists don't exist in the Wizarding World; our finances are run by Goblins, and it's all quite complicated. My legal guardians wanted to eradicate all muggles, that is, non magicals." Narcissa was calm, composed. She already had Peter vouching for her; there was no reason to break down in tears for the sake of Mrs. Pettigrew's pity. Mrs. Pettigrew already pitied her; there was no point in acting.

The family tripped over themselves to assure her that she'd always be welcome into their home, because, after all, one family of radicals can't do much.

It's not like a single family of radical views can cause a civil war.

Another muggle quote: "All that's needed for evil to truimph is for good to do nothing." Or something of the sort. It didn't matter; it's not like she was 'good'. No, she was a survivalist. At the time, killing Jared was best. Now, loving Peter was best.

Gray.

* * *

"Absolutely not."

"But, _father-_ "

"James, you are my son, my _only_ son. Do you really think that I would just allow you to join this war?"

"Petunia's joining!"

"As far as I know, Petunia has written a letter to MI5, which is some Muggle Government that deals with the Wizard Affairs. She will be trained for Muggle Warfare in case Death Eaters try to track her, and she'll be trained by MI6, by the Muggles. She will not _attack_ ; she's simply learning the best defense she can! It's comparable to your Defense Against the Dark Arts class in Hogwarts. Your mother is teaching you, Sirius and Regulus Black about dueling because we are blood traitors and are likely to be attacked, _not_ because we have a wish to see you jump into the fray and die!"

"I'm not going to die! And if anything, MI6 is like the Unspeakables and Hitwizards combined!"

"Don't be a fool. Severus went off to fight, and now Lily's in a coma! We have no idea what will happen to her, if she'll survive, and you told me the girl was powerful: what happens if we have an obscurial on our hands?! Do you _really_ think I'll let _anything_ happen to you?"

" _Father_!"

"Do you think I can bare to loose you!"

At that, James Potter stopped arguing. Lord Charles Potter was breathing heavily, doing his best to calm down.

"Do you know what it's like to see someone die? This isn't my first war. The - the Grindwald war wasn't a walk in the park. It wasn't running around, shooting spells, standing victorious in glory while laurel leaves are placed on your head and medals on your heart and music plays. It was watching people die. James, you have never seen a _single death_."

"Lily's _hurt_!"

"Lily - what happened to Lily is _nothing_. And it's not even the death that's the worse. I have a friend who can't even walk properly after this. Do you know what's it like to see him limping across the street? Can you imagine - no more simple joy? No Quidditch, no running and chasing the butterflies, he can't use the floo because his peg leg catches on fire. Do you know what it's like to wake up _screaming?_ This is something that haunts your every _moment_ , James. Stay a child, for just a little longer. Just a little longer."

* * *

Petunia looked at the man in the suit. Her back was straight, her hair in a tight bun. (Two weeks ago, she would have been smiling, leaning against the door, hands crossed under her breast, her hair in a braid and a touch of makeup on her face. Now? She still liked makeup. She simply didn't see the point - valuable time was wasted painting her face. Now she used the time to practice shooting her father's gun.)

(And if she missed the simple joy of flirting, the simple pains of history homework and the basic struggles of walking in heals, it didn't matter.)

Mrs. Snape had been so kind as to explain what would happen to Lily: the magic would stay half-connected to her. The unconnected magic would either find a way out of her body or it would kill her.

The 'find a way out of her body' was unspecified, but Petunia understood it to be a change in physical features, like Phoenix wings or a Mermaid's tail or a Unicorn's horn. Mrs. Evans had asked if the magic would become Lily's aura, a sort of glowing shield around her. Severus had simply begun to pray (to something called the 'great five' and a dragon of sorts... wizards were odd). And her father had raised an eyebrow and said, cooly, that Lily Evans had once fractured her foot, limped home without screaming, and then informed her parents of the bruising, and that meant that she could survive this. (Petunia had smiled at that. Lily had always been proud. Pride didn't indicate survival, but if it did, then Petunia could be plenty proud as well.)

Mrs. Snape said that she had no prognosis except what she had already said.

And, of course, Lily would be less powerful than before.

Lily would be devastated. She probably would never be able to do silent casting, never do even the slightest bit of wandless magic. She'd probably never apparate. Rituals and enchanting objects would be completely beyond her.

(Severus wondered, quietly, if this was the true cost of the magic: not making you murder and lose morals and become a monster; anyone can do that. No, it was making you hurt and cry that was magic's cost. Of course, people did that to each other on a daily basis...)

She was still asleep, and was to wake up within the week. Meanwhile, Petunia read out loud to her, explaining how to shoot a gun. Severus read wizard fairy tails and did his homework next to her. Petunia didn't know what her parents did.

She focused on the present:

She was talking to a man who came in, said that he was from MI6, and wanted to talk to Petunia. Clearly, whatever it was that Mrs. Evans had done, whatever letter she had written, MI6 had responded. Or perhaps it was Mrs. Snape's letter, or Lord Potter's letter. Harold had opened the door and at the man's introduction as a MI6 agent said that his daughter was not to be put into dangerous situations until she was a legal adult and he couldn't stop her.

And then Petunia had entered the room and said that she wasn't stupid enough to get herself killed. The man had to refrain from laughing at her, thinking about the common Young Person Immortality Syndrome, when children thought they were immortal, couldn't get hurt. Children were gods because they thought themselves as such.

"What would you like to call me for this meeting?" The man asked, amused. He'd never said his name. He'd see how she responded.

"James Bond. Or would you prefer Q?" Petunia's acerbic tone answered. The man raised an eyebrow.

"You seem to be quite prickly, love."

"You're emulating a hedgehog quite well yourself."

"What a nice vocabulary."

"One of us has to qualify as a proper, cultured human being, and you're clearly not up for the job."

Check: She gave him a name that could in no way be his own, that she couldn't think about being his own. She remembered that he was mysterious. She gave him a name that explained the danger. (James Bond was brilliant... Very, very few people came up with that). Often, he had to ask the person to explain their name choice. Often, he had to turn them away based on that.

She had passed the first test. Here's the second:

"You're accepted into the MI6 internship. You'll come to this address every morning at 8:00 for the rest of the summer. Your work will end at different times at different days. When your school starts, you are to come as soon as your school day ends, where you stay for two hours. This will repeat until you are ready to formally join MI6 as an agent. Understood?"

"Obviously. And you need to learn better manners; not everyone is as accepting as I am."

Passed the second test. She wasn't intimidated, she responded back, even intimidating him in response, not taking notes but clearly memorizing the instructions.

"I will be your mentor and, if I survive that long, your future partner for your first few missions." He paused.

"My name is Edmund. It was truly a pleasure to meet you." (And though Edmund didn't know it, his voice had softened when he said so, making him seem a little younger than his late twenties. It made him seem more human. Petunia forgave him for the lack of manners in return for the show of vulnerability, though she made no mention of such a decision.)

Petunia stood up and went back to her room. She needed to collect herself.

Perhaps she'd speak to the Potter boy. James truly wasn't as bad as Lily said he was.

At the very least, Potter saw the value of poetry, even if Lily had never understood its true beauty.

* * *

Lily was... floating.

She truly didn't want to go back. Going back meant you had to stop floating and start running.

Sorry, _they_ didn't want to go back.

Lily looked at... herself.

The Not-Lily was transparent (translucent, pale, ghost-sih, ghoulish, fae) and her eyes (orbs, crystal balls, see-all) were always closed (shut).

Like the Oracle of Delphi.

 _Part of her know that she was falling, failing, her mind fracturing._

 _The other parts were fascinated by all the f-words._

 _Alliteration_ _._

 _(Fracturing, falling, f-words. F-bomb!)_

 _Also, cursing._

Sometimes, Lily and Not-Lily played checkers (chess monopoly dice poker cards gambling stakes).

No one won.

One-won...

Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

(Her mind was falling apart. She was falling apart.)

Here is the secret: Not-Lily is magic.

Magic used to be inside her.

Not-Lily used to be her. She used to be Not-Lily, and Lily, more than Not-Lily.

She drank. Something. Black, oily, petrol-like, (black-gold that people fought and bled over when all it did was killed the Earth) it felt thick and disgusting on her tongue, and she would have spat it out, but it tasted of Egypt and tears, so she drank it because if she wouldn't Someone Important would be Not Here and then Tears would be Everywhere.

Egypt because it was the nest of Dark Lords and sorcerers.

Not-Lily was still connected to her.

If the gold-connection-strings snapped, then Not-Lily would open her eyes.

Not-Lily would be scared.

She'd leave.

Lily will die.

This wasn't scary.

Boggarts weren't scary.

The Dark wasn't scary.

Monsters under the bed weren't scary.

Loosing at checkers was scary.

Lily didn't like chess, she liked Terry Pratchett, and Terry Pratchett said that 'God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of the players, (ie everybody), to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.'

Anyway. She wasn't playing chess with Death. Nor was she playing dice with God.

She was playing checkers with Not-Lily, her magic core, and the object of the game was not to win.

(Sometimes Not-Lily went really, really pale and Lily felt better... the 'thud thud thud' was stronger. When that happened, both Not-Lily and Lily glowed.)

Sometimes people read to her.

Petunia's voice was matter-of-fact, so Lily wasn't worried.

James only read sometimes. Poetry. Mostly Edgar Allan Poe, but she didn't like The Raven, or Annabel Lee. She liked 'Jabberwocky'. She liked 'do not stand by my grave and weep', but no one read that to her.

(She liked 'Do not go gently into that good night'. Not-Lily liked that one too).

Severus told her... stuff. He cried, and she watched his tears fall down around her. He whispered about heart beats and the Thud Thud Thud grew stronger.

He said everything on his mind, and she watched pictures blood around her and Not-Lily and Lily watched what Severus had done that day together.

The tears were going in the same direction she was: Down.

Her father read to her, talked to her, said things like 'remember this'. She remembered. Yes, dad, daddy, I remember swinging on swings and I remember learning to write and arithmetic and maths and running on the pavement and your whistling and the taste of chocolate ice cream and the foggy days and the jump ropes and the tissues you _always_ had so I could blow my nose.

So?

I'm playing checkers.

(Sometimes, her mother holds her hand, and when this happens, Lily cries. Not-Lily cries too.)

Lily frowns at the board. It is sideways. She can't remember if she's black or red, if it's her turn or not, who has Queens, and what the rules are.

She looks at her hands, and notices, for the first time, that she can't see sleeves.

Oh, she's naked.

Oh.

Not-Lily's naked, too.

Um. (Not-Lily is... prettier than Lily. She has smoother skin and no moles; her breasts are bigger, her fingers slightly longer and her nails shinier, her hair is perfect. Her hips are rounder. Lily feels a pang of... pride, perhaps. Because here is proof that she is human, and someone will love her for what she is, moles and all, than what he wishes her to be, round hips and all).

Well, she's alone.

They're alone?

Lily moves a piece on the board (is it red or black - did she move it at all - what did she move, the piece or the board? - what - )

 _No matter what, you're always my angel._

The words pound. They echo around the room.

They smell of perfume, taste like tears and her mother's lemon soufflés... her mother's not _quite_ Oxford accent, because, well, she came from South England. Not quite high society.

Her _mother_.

Not-Lily opens her eyes, and her eyes aren't green, they're _hazel_ , like her Mother's (and Petunia's), and Not-Lily doesn't look like Lily at all.

Mummy?

(One thing should be noted: Petunia taught Lily to enjoy life. Mr. Evans taught Lily to be strong and stand up for herself. But Mrs. Evans taught Lily to love, and love fiercely and wonderingly, and this love can save anyone who it's given too.)

 _[In another world, Mrs. Evans had taught her daughter to love strongly enough to save her only son from a Dark Lord. Now, this love was strong enough to save her daughter from a coma.]_

Lily opened her eyes.

Everything exploded into light.

* * *

Mrs. Evans pursed her lips.

The days evolved at a certain pattern.

Every morning, Petunia read to Lily for half an hour and then went to MI6. Sorry, visited 'friends'. (It was no secret that the Vernon boy broke up with her daughter; and good riddance. But honestly, who did Petunia think she was kidding?)

Then, Harold would talk to Lily before setting off to work.

Severus would come and talk to her about... whatever was on his mind. (He wept. But he didn't ask for pity, he didn't say 'oh, it's my fault' like those stupid self-centered book characters, and for that, she liked him. Severus focused on Lily, whispering to her, and then went to work on his potions. Sometimes his waved his wand over her. Most often, he asked Magic a question: "What do I sacrifice?")

(She liked him. He tried to do something instead of falling into depression or blaming himself with too much guilt.)

It was all wrong.

Violet sighed. She had made Lily tea. They had kept her fed by magicking food into her stomach.

So Lily didn't even taste the tea.

There was a bit of numbness inside.

She had smirked when James read Edgar Allan Poe to Lily. Lily _hated_ Poe; she didn't like his patterns and his sorrow. Petunia loved Poe... the Potter boy and her Pet had discussed the poet often.

Reading Poe to Lily was a _colossal_ mistake. If Potter had any chance with Lily, he had lost it with the first words of 'The Raven'.

Honestly, Lily wasn't good with words. She was good with magic and such, but she only really liked three poems: The Jabberwocky, 'Do not stand by my grave and weep', and 'Do not go gently into that good night'.

They were her little girls, the two of them. Petunia, her fairy, her nymph, her dryad. Lily, her angel.

Violet took Lily's hand.

(Before going to Hogwarts, Lily asked Violet a single question: "What if I don't want to go?")

(She did, she wanted to go more than anything... but she wanted her mother to convince her that it was the right choice.)

(Violet couldn't lie to Lily: she told her the truth. "You always have a choice. But please, remember, no matter what, you're always my angel.")

And now, Violet Evans said the same thing. " _No matter what, you're always my angel."_

Lily opened her eyes.

Everything exploded into light. (Instinct said to throw your hands up, to shield your eyes, to look away).

Violet was a _mother_.

She threw her arms around her daughter and kissed her forehead and never mind the huge, white wings that had exploded from her daughter's back.

* * *

Regulus stared at his brother.

"I said, do you like Remus?" Sirius' voice was calm, controlled. At this point, he didn't know what his duties were. As a Maurauder, he had sworn brotherhood to his friends. So... it was like two of his brothers were shaking up. Without the incest. So whom did he lecture?

It was even worse because they were in a library: Regulus' territory. Sure, they were at Potter Manor, but with James off with Petunia (Oh, he said he was reading to Lily, but Sirius knew who he was _really_ reading Muggle poetry to) the house just wasn't as welcoming... it wasn't really _home_ anymore.

So he was trying to lecture his brother in his brother's home base.

"Sirius... 'Ri... I don't know. I, I just..."

"Because he's sick. Mrs. Lupin had called over. They can't take him to a Muggle Healer because he's a werewolf, and by the same token, he can't get sick. He's feverish, and he's been saying your name. So, tell me what's been going on, because this _stinks_ of Ritual Magic and that's dangerous!"

Screw it, he'd lecture both. No books warned that rituals were dangerous, because, hello, it's common _sense_ , it's like trying to explain the stupidity of drinking liquid mercury, for Merlin's sake, find something better to do, and if two of his brothers were playing with rituals, he'd murder them. Actually, he wouldn't have to: magic got everyone in the end. Look at Grindelwald, at Merlin and Lady Le Fay, at Slytherin... once you start with a ritual, the consequences were _permanent_ , and _addictive._

"Ri, I... I... I'm four _teen_ , I don't _know-"_

 _Oh, Regulus was_ so _getting lectured. Rituals! Of all the stupidity! It's like saying 'I'm not doing drugs, I'm just smoking and drinking! Repeatedly! A lot!' YOU IDIOT, REGULUS! I SHALL NOW PROCEED TO MURDER YOU!_

"Don't give me that BS. Reg, we're _wizards_. Magic means we mature a _lot_ earlier than Muggles. Our magic stabilizes at seventeen, and that's when we're adult in any way, shape or form. That's it. You're _fourteen_ , but you're powerful, and by magic standards, you're old enough to figure it out. Most wizards have one or two girlfriends/boyfriends, and then settle down with one partner for ever, because your magic is attracted and works with each other. You know, this isn't a lecture I thought I'd give to you..."

"Hold up. So my magic is attracted to Remus? I don't have a _choice?_ "

"Of _course_ you have a choice! But you're attracted to Remus, so your magic tries to, ah, work with his for your happiness. That's why, if you're not happy with someone, your magic rebells against them! That's why there are so few abusive relationships in the Wizarding World! And Remus' magic feels good against your skin, right? So he's attracted to you too, 'cause his magic's not rebelling against you."

"...Oh. So, Remus likes me?" Regulus looked so hopeful that Sirius' heart broke. How'd you explain that Remus wouldn't live past forty five, while Regulus would live to ninety? How'd you explain that Remus wouldn't get a job? That once a month he'd loose control?

How'd you explain that it wouldn't last? When it's the first time, you think it's forever. You think it's perfect. You talk about anything. Everything.

It won't last past the year, and for a while you're bewildered, because - because.

That you try, and then you let go, and then you meet someone who makes you sway, not because their hair is pretty or they smell good, not because you profess your love at the sight of their naked body. But because they work with you.

It's not a dream. It creeps up, slowly, until you realize that _shit, I have to wait the whole_ summer _before seeing Amelia again?_

And _shit, she called me an idiot while smiling at me and I liked it. I felt like flying._

 _I'm screwed._

Sirius looked at Regulus, poor baby Regulus who watched their parents descend into madness with Sirius was away at Hogwarts, who saw the effects and wonder of dark magic with only a House Elf for company.

"Yes, Remus likes you. What's magic demanding?" He meant to sound brusque, to get Regulus to loose confidence, to break his heart slowly. Instead, it came out gentle, with a smile, as if it were ok, as if Remus would live forever.

"... a kiss."

Honestly, magic was so repetitive. The same thing happened to that stupid Briar Rose girl: She did a ritual, fell asleep, and wouldn't wake up until a kiss of true love came, and she slept for seven decades!

"It's your first kiss too, I bet."

"Y-yes."

Yep, Briar Rose all over again. At least Remus was sick and not sleeping, although whatever ritual Briar did, it was a whole lot bigger than whatever two teens could rustle up in school.

"Well, this is how you know you're kissing someone who loves you, and not taking advantage of you." Sirius tried to console his brother.

Well, this wouldn't discourage Regulus at _all_. Yep, Sirius was screwed. Bloody-fucking-hell. He needed to write Amelia.

"That's... nice. Thanks, Ri!"

Regulus grinned happily and set about writing to Remus, and Sirius winced. He _definitely_ needed Amelia's advice. Grabbing a piece of parchment, he began to scrawl:

 _Dear Amelia Bones,_

 _this is Sirius Black, and I've done something stupid. Again._

 _How do you convince your baby bro that his heart's gonna get crushed?_

 _-Love you forever,_

 _\- Sirius Black_

 _P.S., I think James' in love with Petunia Evans (Lily's sister), and I call best man at the wedding, and best man gets to dance with the Maid of Honor, so you better snag the position, 'cause I'm NOT dancing with Lily!_

(Glancing at the letter over his brother's shoulder, Regulus decided that Sirius was undeniably childish).

* * *

"So. You're literally an angel." Petunia's voice would have been deadpan if not for the slightly upward tilt of her mouth. The wings weren't small, either. They spanned across the room, long with sharp feathers and built for _flight._ Lily herself felt light. Literally, it was because most of her bones were now hollow (including the ones in the wings). Lily had always been small, thin, compact... Petunia was elven, with a willowy figure that Lily had been jealous of in her worst moments.

But now Lily felt undeniably _light_. The two girls were sitting on the rooftop at 3:00 am because really, where else would they go? Even folded, Lily's wings arched above her head, and even though they didn't hit the ceiling, Lily was uncomfortable. It was, Petunia said, fairly obvious: Humans preferred their ceilings several meters over their heads. Why would Lily's new 'head', her new height and highest point, not want several meters between it and the ceiling?

Severus had come over when she woke up, all happy and whispering nonsense, and they had gotten on a good start on their homework. Lily had kissed him, desperately, and so _happy_ that he didn't taste any different, so _happy_ that he wasn't treating her like glass, like her parents were. Like James Potter was.

(Then Petunia had distracted him with a sonnet by some guy named Ives or something. The sonnet was about dying like dogs except not. Honestly. She would _so_ say 'I told you so' to James at Potter's and Petunia's wedding. After all, she _had_ said that they would never be together.)

Lily smirked at her sister.

"Not quite - this isn't heaven."

"Yeah, yeah. Alright, let's try this out. Stand up and spread out your wings. D'you think your arms should be spread out, too?" Petunia's voice was slightly worried, and even as Lily stood, she fought a smile at Petunia's tendency to mix words when she was concerned (d'you).

"I think I'll just jump and hope my wings catch me?"

"This isn't funny! What if you _fall_?"

"Relax, Nia. Remember how I jumped off of the swing and soared? It was _fun_."

"No it wasn't, it was terrible, and that's how you met that terrible Snape boy."

"Don't call him that! Alright, ready?"

"I should be asking that."

"I was _born_ ready."

"Really? Then I'm the one whose been waiting for you - I'm eldest."

The sisters grinned at each other, the familiarity of the bantering absolute proof the madness of their plans: They were trying to teach Lily to fly. By pushing her off of the roof.

Lily took two steps back and ran forward.

For a moment, she hung in the air, wings reaching high above her, knees scrunched, arms outstretched, hair tangled, eyes glinting. Then her wings went horizontal, catching the air as Lily plummeted, laughing wildly.

She slowed, going forward slightly, but didn't rise, frowning when she hit the ground barely three meters from the house.

"At least the landing was smooth." Lily grumbled. Then she looked up at Petunia's closed off face, the face that she had learnt from Edmund. Her MI6 trainer only showed up for an hour or two daily, but he demanded the best, and only the best. No complaints. There was no 'good enough'. And the face that he made told her to do one thing only: do better.

Petunia made that face at her sister.

"Again." Petunia demanded.

Lily scrambled up the rope ladder and prepared to jump until Petunia pronounced her either proficient or hopeless.

* * *

Amelia stared at the letter that Sirius sent to her.

"Dear Merlin," she said, "I'm in love with an idiot."


End file.
